Vestige
by mydaysrgreen
Summary: In the midst of an unfamiliar world, Isabelle struggles to rebuild her life, while attempting to reacquaint herself with her job and possibly someone she once loved. John/OC
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Stargate franchise or any of its characters from the movie/show you may recognize. I only own my character Isabelle and other minor characters you don't recognize, along with the storyline.

_**Read & Review!**_

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**Chapter 1**

**The Unknown**

_Isabelle stood before the liquid wall not knowing what to expect on the other side. Numerous thoughts boggled her mind, filling her being with skepticism. This was the biggest risk she had ever taken in her life…._

_The supply bag she was carrying on her shoulders felt like they weighted her down, preventing her from moving forward. _

_But was it actually the bag or was it her? _

_Whichever it was, it didn't matter much when the soldier behind her gave her a push towards the illuminated screen of water. Isabelle wanted to close her eyes but kept them open from the fear of not knowing what she would have to do next. One foot forward, then the other and she entered another part of her life. _

She awoke abruptly, her vision was opaque and the brightness pained her eyes. Her eyelids blinked rapidly trying to adjust to the intensity of the light. Voices surrounded her, but even when she tried to listen carefully it was unintelligible. Her fingertips felt the soft cushion beneath her, but she realized there was wrapping around the palm of her hands. The constriction restricted her from being able to grasp the sheets on which she lay. Her body ached horribly as she tried to raise herself from her prone position. She groaned from pain before falling back onto the bed.

_What's going on? Where am I?_

She bombarded herself with questions, none of which she could answer. Finally, the fog in front of her eyes vanished allowing her to view the radiance of the sun as it shone through the large widow panes on her left. Her gaze followed the light, watching dust particles swirl and dance with each other until it disappeared into the shadows. She swiftly scanned the area she could view and deduced she was in some sort of clinical area.

_Am I a patient?_

She tried to sit up once more, to look at herself, make sure she was alright, but halfway up, she collapsed from immense pain originating from her midsection.

Apparently someone heard her groan because two seconds later there was a young blonde woman who appeared at her side, wearing a stethoscope around her neck. But her attire did not include the usual long white coat or scrubs, this woman was wearing some sort of uniform that involved a dark jacket with yellow stripes and an American flag patched on her left arm.

_Is she the doctor…maybe I can ask her why I'm here…._

She tried voicing her thoughts, but only broken sounds were heard.

"Shh," the doctor whispered while examining her with a stethoscope, "Don't talk, just breathe in and out slowly."

She did as she was told, but was still frustrated. She wanted her questions answered; she felt helpless.

The doctor replaced the stethoscope around her neck, "Well, you're doing much better now, Isabelle, I'm glad you're finally awake."

_How does she know my name?_

"We were all quite worried about you," she looked down, "You had been out for a while…but anyway everyone will be happy to see that you're okay."

_We? Who is she talking about?_

As the doctor moved towards the end of her bed to write comments on her health chart, Isabelle stared at her in confusion. She had to get up now, she couldn't keep lying down pretending everything was okay. It was a struggle for her to lift herself up on her arms, pain shot through her body causing her to utter another groan.

"Hey!" the doctor rushed over and grabbed her arms to put her back on the bed, "Don't push yourself so much; you've been through quite a bit."

"N-n-" Isabelle tried to talk, "No…I need—

"What you need is more time to recuperate," she smiled softly, "I'm not telling you this just as a doctor, but as your good friend…so listen to me, please."

Isabelle furrowed her brow and shook her head, trying so hard to convey that she didn't know this woman.

"What's wrong, Isabelle?" The doctor looked worried.

"Who are you?" She asked, finally finding her voice.

"She doesn't remember anything," Jennifer spoke to Woolsey, "Not from the time she's spent here on Atlantis."

"Do you know why?" He asked, his gaze unwavering at the sudden news.

"Well, the trauma she experienced in the past months obviously contributed, but as for any specific physical head trauma that might have caused this is still questionable."

"Is she still here, in the infirmary?"

"Yes, she's not well enough to be discharged," Jennifer looked down before quickly matching her superior's gaze, "And considering her state, I think it would be best if I kept her here as long as I can."

Woolsey nodded, "Yes, I understand…keep me updated, Dr. Keller."

Jennifer nodded as she watched Woolsey retreat from the infirmary. She turned around and saw Isabelle sitting in her bed keenly observing her surrounding. Jennifer could only wonder as to how lost and disoriented Isabelle must be feeling.

So much had happened in the past two years in Atlantis, how could any of it be conveyed to her properly?

Jennifer sighed before she walked back over to her workstation and reopened Isabelle's health charts. She glanced at the various notes: …. If only she had been off-world with her, maybe none of this would've happened.

"_Come on, Jennifer, you should come with us." Isabelle tried to convince her friend to join her off-world. _

"_I wish I could," Jennifer replied as she moved hastily around the infirmary, "But it would be highly irresponsible of me to do that seeing as we're kind of overwhelmed with the flu-like virus that's been going around."_

_Isabelle sighed, "I guess we'll have to do it together some other time. I was hoping my first time off-world could've been with my best friend, but I guess not." _

"_Nice try," Jennifer smirked, "Trying to guilt me into coming with you." _

"_Did it work?"_

"_No." _

"_Damn," Isabelle said as she stuffed the necessary first-aid items into her backpack, "I'm telling you, you're gonna miss out on some great stuff today." _

Jennifer shook her head at the memory.

"Yea, I definitely missed out," she said as she closed the health chart.

Isabelle looked out the window imagining what her life was possibly like. All she knew so far from the doctor's explanation was that she was in a place called Atlantis and that she was part of some foreign expedition. Jennifer Keller, that's what she said her name was, hadn't explained much in detail—she seemed to be in shock in regards to the memory loss.

_Atlantis…sounds familiar…. _

Two years – she had spent two years of her life on this expedition and she didn't remember any of it. The last thing she remembered was being in her home in San Francisco. Isabelle closed her eyes as she inhaled deeply and let drowsiness dominate her senses. Slowly, the sounds of the infirmary drowned as darkness overwhelmed her. Maybe if she fell asleep, the next time woke up, she wouldn't be here. Maybe next time, she would be back home.

"_You never answered my question." A stern voice sounded._

_Isabelle looked up to see a handsome man with dark, unkempt hair and green eyes standing in her doorway, his relaxed demeanor contradicted the impatience in his eyes. _

"_And what if I don't answer it?" She replied, partly challenging him but mostly angry at him for bringing up the topic again._

"_Look," his calm voice holding back his irritation, "you can either tell me exactly what's going on or we can—_

"_Or I can keep doing my job…" she interjected, "and I suggest you keep doing yours."_

Isabelle woke up with a jolt. Was that a dream or a memory? She sat up in the bed wondering as to the identity of the man she had seen. He seemed angry at her either for something she had done or maybe hadn't done. Thinking of it just irritated her; she tried to fixate on every aspect of the dream as if it was sending her some kind of message. But as it happens with any dream, the details are lost as soon as one wakes up.

She looked around the infirmary and saw that she had been asleep for a while. The sun had set and the room was filled a silence that seemed so foreign to her. Isabelle's eyes darted around the room trying to find the doctor, Jennifer, but all she saw were empty beds and a couple of unfamiliar faces.

Isabelle was tired of being in the same position for so long, she was restless. Everything was unfamiliar to her, she needed to know more: about the place, the people and herself. Her eyes began to water at the thought of not being able to recall one's own past. Two years worth of memories were buried beneath a veil of amnesia, and who knew when it would be lifted to unfetter her from this bind.

She lifted her hands to view her palms and studied the bandage. Lines of blood stains had seeped through the gauze. She lightly patted her abdomen to find that it was bandaged as well, but it was much more sensitive than she had anticipated. Fearing that it would get irritated, she moved her hand away and placed it back on the bed. Her mind tried to remember why she was in this condition – what caused these wounds, and again her mind was blank.

Isabelle sighed as she removed the sheet that covered her legs. There was severe bruising on her shins but no abrasions. Slowly she moved her legs to the side and let it dangle off the edge.

One.

Two.

Three – she let herself slip off the bed and placed her feet on the cold, hard tiles. The all so familiar sharp pain shot up from legs, causing her grip on the bed to tighten. She inhaled deeply, holding in a groan that threatened to escape as a cry. Her breaths gradually formed a calm rhythm and she released her grasp on the mattress. One foot in front of the other, she gently walked towards the infirmary entrance. Her hands reached out to grasp the edge of the doorway, allowing her to lean her weight on the wall. The ten feet walk was much more excruciating than she had expected.

Exhaling, she peered into the hallway and found it empty. She looked up at the corners of the ceiling and saw cameras placed at both ends of the hallway. Wary of her situation, Isabelle walked cautiously down the hallway, keeping aware of any sudden noises. She didn't know where she was going, but she didn't care. She needed to know more about her surroundings. What Atlantis was and why she was there.

Suddenly she heard the faint sound of footsteps approaching her. Isabelle's eyes darted behind her but found nothing. Her feet kept her walking as she turned back around and gasped at the man who appeared in front of her.

He was tall, muscular, vigilant but brutish. His clothes seemed to belong to a pre-modern society and his hair…. The man held a stunned countenance but only for a second before it disappeared. He took a step towards Isabelle, at which she retreated. Isabelle saw that he was bemused by her action, but he took another step. She automatically moved back again.

"Isabelle," his deep voice resounded in the bare hallway. She watched as he patiently moved his hand up to her shoulder, "How are you—

Isabelle swiftly moved her shoulder back, shrugging his hand off of her. She was suspicious of his intentions and began to increase the distance between them as much as she could. He followed her as she continued to back up.

"Isabelle," he called again, "stop."

She didn't stop.

Frustrated, Ronon quickened his pace to catch up with her. His hands grasped her arms preventing her from moving, "What are you doing?"  
Isabelle registered his tone: it wasn't threatening at all; instead it was laced with concern. She looked into his eyes and what she saw only reassured her. Her instincts told her he wasn't a danger to her and that's all she had now. Her instinct, what her deepest thoughts told her about these people was all she could rely on.

"What's wrong?" he broke the silence.

Isabelle shook her head, "I don't remember who you are."

Ronon sighed, "I know…I talked to Jennifer when I came back."

She stood awkwardly in his grasp, waiting for him to introduce himself, "So…what's your name?"

He looked taken aback by her question even though a part of him expected it. Now, he realized how awfully close they were therefore released her from his grip. "Uh…Ronon. Ronon Dex."

"Ronon," she softly repeated his name as she soothingly rubbed the area on her arm where his hands once touched, "Nice to meet you."

He nodded with a smirk on his face, clearly amused by her comment, "Yea, same here."

"What are you doing out here?" A voice sounded behind Isabelle.

Both Isabelle and Ronon looked towards the nurse who was standing in the infirmary doorway.

Isabelle looked sheepish, "I just needed a walk."

"You should be inside, resting. You've got too many injuries to risk—

"It's alright, I'll walk with her," Ronon interrupted.

Isabelle looked at him, grateful for his offer.

The nurse sighed, "I really shouldn't do this…make sure that she gets back here in a few minutes."

Ronon smiled at her and nodded. The nurses, clearly smitten, smiled back. Isabelle watched the silent communication between the two, and realized Ronon had a way with women.

They had been walking for nearly fifteen minutes around Atlantis. They had talked about simple topics such as where Ronon was from, Sateda; what made him come to Atlantis and she in turn provided as much information as she could without being redundant. She felt sorry for him when he told her that he had lost his loved ones in Sateda during a great battle, but she knew that he didn't need her pity.

Ronon regularly pointed out important areas around the base such as the Mess Hall, Gateroom, which apparently held some sort of transportation device, and finally her sleeping quarters. She stood in front of the sliding doors, waiting for it to open, but nothing happened.

Ronon stepped to her side, "You have to wave your hand in front of the console."

Isabelle looked at him incredulously, but followed his instruction. Again, nothing happened. "Was that a joke that I didn't get?"

Ronon furrowed his brow, "No…I guess you had it locked. You're gonna need McKay to override it later so you can get in."

Isabelle didn't bother asking who this McKay was, knowing it was too late to bother anyone regarding this matter. They continued to walk around, finally reaching a set of doors that would lead them outside. She stopped while Ronon continued to walk. He paused as soon as he realized she wasn't with him.

"Come on," he said, knowing she was wary of stepping into the unknown, "It'll be alright."

Isabelle cautiously followed him, stepping through the sliding doors and into the darkness.

"Wow," she gasped when she saw the beautifully lit structures, standing next to the bright stars that shone in the night sky. More astounding than the futuristic architecture were the two moons that shone among the stars. "It's so beautiful."

"Yea," Ronon concurred.

Isabelle's gaze looked at the rest of the city, and saw that water surrounded the edges, "Which ocean is that?"

"Ocean?"

"Or lake?"

"There's more than one?" Ronon asked sarcastically.

"Um, on which hemisphere is Atlantis located?" Isabelle tried again.

Ronon turned towards her, "How much did Jennifer tell you exactly?"

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**Author's Note:** This is my first story for SGA. Please **REVIEW **so I know what to improve on for the oncoming chapters.

Just a couple of words can help more than you think so please provide some input.

Thanks you guys!


	2. Chapter 2: Adaptation

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Stargate franchise or any of its characters from the movie/show you may recognize. I only own my character Isabelle and other minor characters you don't recognize, along with the storyline.

_**Read & Review!**_

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**Chapter 2**

**Adaptation**

Shocked. Bewildered. Flabbergasted. These words hardly described the emotions that were erupting inside Isabelle.

"How can this be possible?" She asked calmly, before throwing a barrage of assumptions, "You're lying. This isn't possible."

Ronon watched as she paced back and forth in the infirmary. Jennifer was now also present watching solemnly as her friend fell into the depths of distress.

"Isabelle, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, but considering your health I didn't think it was the best time to tell you that—

"That I'm in a completely different galaxy!" Isabelle paused to exclaim before resuming her pacing.

Jennifer sighed and looked to Ronon for help, but he simply returned a pained look. "Look, I think you really should get some more rest. It would be best if we all got together and spoke about this tomorrow afternoon."

"Who's we? And how would keeping this in the air until tomorrow help anyone?"

"Well Colonel Sheppard and Rodney will be back from trading by that time and the more people we have here the better."

Isabelle had no idea who these people were, but realized that asking any more questions would be a waste of her breath so she conceded and headed back towards her bed.

Ronon watched her leave, "Do you think she's gonna believe us?"

"Not at first." Jennifer said bluntly.

"Is she going to get it back soon, her memories?"

Jennifer began walking out of the infirmary and Ronon followed, "I have no idea. These things are completely unpredictable. It could be anywhere from a couple of days to months to years…."

"Or she could never get them back." Ronon finished for her.

Jennifer stopped when they reached the hallway and nodded as she looked up to face him.

"What do you think will happen if she doesn't remember anything about this place, about us?" His gaze bore into Jennifer's, preventing any lies.

She stared back, not being able to voice what she was thinking.

"Yea, that's what I thought too." He commented.

ooOoo

Isabelle woke up, absent of any aches and pains. She looked around, feeling disoriented, but everything came back to her once she saw Jennifer across the room talking to a patient. She groaned in frustration: she was still here, wherever "here" was. She looked out the window and saw the sun was shining brightly once again. Was it the same sun that shone through the window panes in her apartment? Or was she truly light years away from the star she knew?

"Any new developments?" Jennifer asked as she approached her bed.

"You mean besides the ones from last night?" Isabelle asked sarcastically, but seeing Jennifer's saddened expression, she corrected herself, "No. Nothing new."

"Good. Now I need to take a look at your wounds."

Isabelle lifted her arm to let her examine it. The doctor's hands swiftly removed the bandage and gauze to reveal deep cuts on her wrist and palm.

Isabelle was perturbed, "It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Yea, it looks like its healing up pretty well."

"Do you, um, happen to know how this happened?"

Jennifer looked up, her fingers stopped grazing the cuts, "I think it would be best if you spoke to Colonel Sheppard about that. He would be able to provide more information than I can."

Isabelle nodded, as she continued to watch Jennifer move about and replace the wrappings. She tried to take a look at the wound on her abdomen, but Jennifer's hands and the bandages prevented her inspection. She couldn't wait to get her questions answered from this Colonel Sheppard.

_He's probably some fifty year old grouch who got off on giving orders left and right. _

"Alright," Jennifer moved to her side, "You're ready to go."

"What do you mean?"

"Well I'm not letting you leave this infirmary just yet," she laughed, "but you need to get dressed. Colonel Sheppard and Rodney got here earlier than expected."

"Have you talked to them?" Isabelle asked, a bit apprehensive of hearing their reactions.

"Yes, but I only told them to meet us in Woolsey's office in twenty minutes."

Jennifer handed her the typical uniform and pulled the curtain around the bed to provide privacy.

"Do I have to wear this?" Isabelle asked, as she pulled up the slacks over her legs, talking loud enough so that Jennifer could hear her on the other side of the fabric barrier.

Jennifer laughed, "Yes, I don't have access to your bedroom and that's all I have in your size."

Isabelle removed the curtains and stepped out wearing the dark uniform including the jacket which had similar yellow stripes on the sleeves and an American flag, "I look ridiculous."

"No you don't," Jennifer turned her around, "Actually it fits you quite well. Come on, let's go."

They both headed out of the infirmary and made their way to Woolsey's office.

"Richard Woolsey. He's the commander of the Atlantis expedition." Jennifer informed Isabelle.

She nodded, "Is everyone going to be there?"

"Yea, that way everyone can be on the same page regarding your improvement."

Then there was a sudden silence, something that felt so awkward between them. Isabelle knew this was uncommon, "I remember you said that we were friends…."

"We _are _friends."

"We were good friends?"

"The best, actually. We sort of hit it off the first day you joined us. It wasn't anything specific – just the way we were able to open up to each other and say things that, I assume, we weren't able to admit to others."

It seemed difficult for her to continue talking about their friendship as Isabelle didn't remember any of this. She felt bad for bringing up the topic. They were at the entrance of the Gateroom, when Jennifer's earpiece sounded. They paused in their steps as Jennifer listened to whatever was being said.

"What is it?" Isabelle inquired.

"I have to go to the infirmary, something came up." Seeing Isabelle's worried countenance, Jennifer spoke up once more, "It'll be quick, don't worry. Woolsey's office is up there," she pointed to a room that stood on the second floor, "They're waiting up there. Go."

With that, Jennifer left, leaving Isabelle alone and nervous. She stepped through the doorway and saw a set of stairs that led to the office on the left. Her feet felt as heavy as bricks, making it difficult for her to move forward. But a large object on her right grabbed her attention. It was a large ring with a ramp that extended from its center. Suddenly, an image flashed through her head, Isabelle recalled her dream. It was the motionless waterfall she had seen herself step through. It was the transportation device Ronon had mentioned the night before.

_What did he call it…the Stargate!_

Isabelle stood in wonder, staring at it, not giving a second thought to those around her. Her feet brought her closer to the ring. This was what allowed them to go on different worlds. Was this how everyone got here? Would it be able to take her back home?

Suddenly it activated, the liquid emerged from the center. It frightened her, but her curiosity was much stronger. Isabelle wanted to simply run through it, hoping that it would take her away, but her instinct told her that was a horrible idea. And it was proven right when she saw multiple soldiers walking out of the ring. They were wearing different uniforms, one that included bullet proof vests and guns. They were talking amongst themselves – something about a planet full of children – speaking so casually that it seemed as though this was a daily occurrence.

One of them headed towards the stairs, while the rest made their way towards Isabelle. She stiffened, watching them get closer, but they simply passed by her without a second glance. She saw the man who walked up the stairs go into Woolsey's office.

_Is he Sheppard? But Jennifer said they had come back earlier._

Isabelle wasn't sure whether she should go up to Woolsey's office without Jennifer. She wouldn't know what to do when she got there, so she stayed invisible.

After a few moments of standing motionless, Isabelle felt ridiculous and childish of not being able to confront her worst fears – what if they told her she could never go back home? She didn't want to know the answer. Just as she finally lifted her foot to move forward, a voice sounded behind her.

"Isabelle!"

She turned to see a man rushing towards her, someone she hadn't met yet. The messy dark hair, the tall stature looked so familiar. The closer he got to her, his features became distinguishable. He seemed anxious; his lips were pursed as if keeping him from speaking irrationally. He stopped a few inches in front of her, and she finally took notice of his green eyes.

_He's the man from my dream…who is he?_

She wanted to ask, but saw him study her up and down. A look of relief seemed to wash over his face.

"Keller let you out of the infirmary? She usually doesn't let go of her patients that easily." He stated with a smile.

Isabelle's voice was caught in her throat, as she studied his features. She knew him; his name was on the tip of her tongue.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked as he placed a hand on her upper arm.

Isabelle was caught off guard by his gesture and wanted to move away but didn't. It was as if vines had emerged from the ground and wrapped itself around her feet, keeping her from moving. She continued to stare at him, as though the longer she stared the quicker she would recognize him.

The man's face revealed his puzzlement by her action, "Isabelle, is everything—

"Colonel Sheppard," Jennifer called out as she entered the Gateroom, "We should go to Mr. Woolsey's office."

_Colonel Sheppard? This is…Sheppard?_

He turned towards the doctor as she walked up to them but looked back at Isabelle, "Is everything okay?"

"I think we should continue this discussion in privacy." Jennifer answered for her.

Jennifer placed a hand on Isabelle's back and guided her towards the stairs. She heard Sheppard's footsteps behind her, it sounded heavy, filled with confusion and apprehension. She felt his gaze on her the whole walk to the commander's office, but she wouldn't dare turn around.

Ronon was already present in the office, smiling at Isabelle when she walked in. She returned the gesture. The soldier she had seen rush up the stairs earlier was talking to the man, who Isabelle assumed, was Richard Woolsey.

"Major Lorne, that's good news for us. Make sure I see your report submitted as soon as possible."

"Yes, sir." Major Lorne replied before turned to leave, greeting everyone as he left. "Colonel, Doctor. Isabelle."

They all nodded in response, but Isabelle stared at him as he left. When she caught the gaze of Sheppard who was staring at her, she turned around quickly to avoid any questions regarding her behavior.

Woolsey stood in front of the mahogany desk also wore a similar uniform, except it had red stripes instead of yellow. He looked authoritative yet welcoming to Isabelle; she wondered whether he pitied her current state. He was a middle aged man, who was balding, but in no way did that distract from his commanding aura. He stepped forward and put his hand out, "Hello, I'm Mr. Richard Woolsey; I'm the commander of this expedition."

Isabelle shook her hand, "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Woolsey."

She could tell it was a strange experience for the man to hear this; but he didn't make a comment on it.

"Please take a seat," he gestured towards a chair behind her.

Isabelle didn't have to look towards Sheppard to know that he was even more perplexed by the exchange between her and Woolsey. He sat next to her; she could feel his uninterrupted gaze on her. She wanted to turn and say something to make him stop but knew it wouldn't make a difference.

"Oh, sorry," a man entered the office, out of breath, "Sorry I'm late. Got distracted by the ZPMs we bartered from the—uh is everything okay?" He said as he took notice of everyone who glared at him and finally Isabelle.

"Dr. McKay," Woolsey spoke up, "could you please take a seat?"

"Uh, alright," the man with a Canadian flag patched on the left sleeve of his uniform took a seat next to Sheppard.

The five of them, who sat across from Woolsey's desk, waited for someone to speak up. Finally, Jennifer took the responsibility of breaking the silence and the news to those who were unaware.

"Um, obviously we can see that Isabelle is doing much better now," she looked in Isabelle's direction, "but there are some complications."

Woolsey retired to his chair behind his desk, waiting for her to continue.

"What kind of complications?" Sheppard finally spoke, his voice low from anxiety.

The doctor in Jennifer emerged, "Having woken up from a concussion after twenty-four hours hasn't caused any severe damage to her brain, which is amazing. And the only physical symptoms involve sensitivity to light, blurred vision and dizziness."

"But?" Sheppard waited for the worst.

"But," the doctor paused, "she seems to have suffered post-traumatic amnesia."

McKay suddenly turned towards Isabelle, staring in disbelief. She felt unnerved by his action and avoided eye contact by staring at the ground. All the while, Sheppard looked towards Jennifer as if waiting for her to say "Just kidding" or something equally pacifying but it never came.

"What does she remember?" McKay finally asked.

_She? I'm right here…_

"Everything up until the time she came to Atlantis." Jennifer answered.

"The past two years," Sheppard tried to understand, "it's all gone?"

Jennifer nodded, "For right now…yes."

"So," McKay spoke again, "She could get it back? I mean, it's not completely gone."

"She could, nothings ever for certain with these types of cases."

_I'm a medical case._

Isabelle heard the back and forth discussion between the three and regretted ever agreeing to attend this meeting. She felt isolated, invisible and never more had she ever wished to simply disappear.

"Do you know when that would happen?" Sheppard inquired.

Jennifer shook her head, "No, it could be anywhere from days to years."

"Or she could never get it back?" McKay asked.

The words hung in the air until finally it fell to its demise at the sound of Woolsey standing up from his chair.

"I think the best way to deal with this kind of situation—"

_Situation…I was a situation now._

"—is to carry on with our duties but provide as much comfort and assurance as we can to Dr. Pierce." He finished with a tone that deemed the end of their discussion.

"For how long?" Isabelle finally spoke up.

Everyone turned towards the corner in which she resided, as if just now realizing that she was existent.

Woolsey must not have heard her, "Excuse me?"

"How long before I'm deemed a liability and waste of space and you send me back home?" Isabelle was irritated, and a little angry that they had spoken of her as though they were analyzing the results of an experiment gone horribly wrong.

"I can assure you, Dr. Pierce, that you were _never_ a waste of space." Woolsey stated boldly.

"Past tense," she noted before standing up to face the man who would determine her fate, "I could be now though…."

"Doctor—

"Look, I don't remember why I was an asset for this expedition, and I probably never will. Just…let me know when the time comes, and I'll be glad to pack my bags."

With that Isabelle walked out of the office, relieved that she was able to say anything coherent. She had too many emotions boiling inside of her to think rationally at the moment, and knew that maybe she would regret something later. She rushed out of the Gateroom, but halfway down a random corridor she asked herself exactly where she was going. And that's when she remembered.

_Damn, I can't get into my quarters. _

No matter where she went, she would have to encounter one of them. The infirmary: Jennifer, her room: McKay, and anywhere else…Ronon would probably find her. Isabelle finally gave up walking to nowhere and stepped out onto the balcony. Exhausted from nothing yet everything, she took refuge at the railings. Overlooking the body of water that surrounded Atlantis, she stared into its darkness and wondered whether anything was submerged beneath the waves, much like her own memories. If only she could reach out and part the waters to seize the thing that would make everything better.

Isabelle heard footsteps approaching her and groaned inwardly. Could she never get a moment's peace?

"I'll be back in infirmary soon," she assumed it was Jennifer, "I just needed some fresh air."

"I don't blame you."

Isabelle turned upon hearing the gruff voice to see Sheppard standing behind her. She straightened her posture and met his gaze.

His smile fell as he moved closer to the railings, "I'm sorry for what happened in there, or rather how they happened."

Isabelle watched as he leaned on the railing and stared out towards the horizon. Now the tables were turned, she stared quietly while he pretended to be oblivious.

"You deserve better than that," he turned to face her.

She jerked her head away, not letting their gazes get entangled. "It's alright."

"No, it's not but I'll accept your forgiveness." He smirked.

Isabelle wondered whether she should ask him what she had been dying to know all along. How did she get involved with this expedition?

Just then his earpiece spoke.

"Sheppard here."

He smiled then looked at Isabelle, "Alright, Sheppard out."

"What is it?" Isabelle inquired.

"They realized you're missing from the infirmary," Sheppard headed to enter the corridor, "Come on, I'll walk you there."

Isabelle hesitantly followed. The walk was certainly quiet, something that didn't feel quiet as strange as it did with Jennifer. The silence was not something new.

"So," he began, "did anyone explain exactly what you're doing here?"

Isabelle sighed, "Sort of."

"Well, maybe I can do a better job."

They walked down the corridors slowly making enough time to get her questions answered.

"So I'm a therapist for everyone here…." Isabelle stated aloud to convince herself.

"You're more than that." Sheppard added.

"And do you happen to know exactly what type of things I provided therapy for?"

"Anything from self-esteem boosts to PTSD."

"Nothing like personality disorders?"

"Well, considering everyone goes through a psych evaluation before getting a position here, you're not likely to see that kind of a thing."

Isabelle nodded. A little disappointed, remembering that her focus back home was mostly on cases such as schizophrenia, sociopathic tendencies and other disorders. But she consoled herself at the thought that there must have been something convincing enough to bring her to another galaxy. She just had to figure out what that thing was.

"So this Stargate program is controlled by the US government?"

Sheppard nodded.

"And it's strictly using the Stargate to _explore_ the universe," Isabelle treaded slowly, "How does it work exactly?"

"Um, I think it would be better if you asked McKay that question." Sheppard dodged the bullet as they reached the infirmary.

"Oh," Isabelle suddenly remembered, "Speaking of whom, I need access to my quarters. Ronon said McKay—

"I'll see to it that he works on it." He assured her.

Isabelle smiled and expected him to walk away, but he didn't. They stood outside of the infirmary in silence once more. She saw his head tilt downwards as he leaned in slightly. He looked as though he was aching to say something else to her. She waited. He stood, parting his mouth but closing it. This act went on for about few seconds.

"Is there something you want to say?" She asked.

He straightened his posture, "No. No, I don't."

"Okay," Isabelle didn't believe him, "I'll see you around."

"Yea, see ya'." He said before he swiftly turned around.

Perturbed by his sudden change in persona, Isabelle looked on as he walked away. There was something about him, something he wasn't telling her but desperately wanted to.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks for your reviews. More reviews are in order

ooOoo


	3. Chapter 3: Fragments

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Stargate franchise or any of its characters from the movie/show you may recognize. I only own my character Isabelle and other minor characters you don't recognize, along with the storyline.

_**Read & Review! **_

_**

* * *

**_

**Chapter 3**

**Fragments**

This was the first time Isabelle had a smile on her face since waking up in Atlantis. It was her last day in the infirmary, and she was glad to leave. Her wounds hadn't healed completely, but there was nothing else Jennifer could do besides confine her patient to rest in her own quarters. Isabelle was dressed in the uniform Jennifer had provided her and saw McKay enter the infirmary, with his laptop in hand. She watched him walk towards her awkwardly; his eyes darting everywhere else but her.

"Dr. McKay, right?" Isabelle knew she was right.

"Yea….Yea, McKay," he paused in front of her, "Sheppard told me you had trouble accessing your quarters."

"I couldn't get in." She watched him glance at his laptop, then her but quickly look away.

"I just need to reset the access code. So, if you'll walk with me," he walked ahead of her now, "We can get it set up for you in no time."

Isabelle thought of McKay to be the most interesting person she had met in the past two days. He reacted differently than the others towards her. It was like he tried extra hard not to be uncomfortable, but it just made the situation even worse. She was certainly amused by his actions. They walked along the corridors, which involved Isabelle following McKay's lead; and stopped in front of the sliding doors that separated them from her room.

"Alright," he opened the console and plugged some sort of port into it from his laptop, "let's get this done so I go do some real work." He said to himself, not intending for Isabelle to hear it.

The way McKay presented himself towards his peers clearly showed he had a god-complex. Maybe it was an insecurity that originated from his social ineptness that forced him to display his intelligence in a way that others would consider arrogant. But Isabelle knew that it was simply a façade created to show his competence, to earn respect.

After a few minutes of tampering with the console, a rhythmic beep resounded.

"Ahh, fixed." McKay unplugged the ports and closed the console, "if you don't need anything else, I'll be heading back to the laboratory."

Isabelle didn't say anything, instead she waved her hand in front of the console. The doors opened, "Nothing else."

"Okay then…" He stood for a few seconds, not knowing what else to say, before he turned to leave.

"Thank you," Isabelle said at last, "for this."

McKay turned at the sound of her voice, and once he registered her words, he uneasily smiled and left.

Isabelle shook her head before entering her room. She saw that it was quite small, like she had expected, as the only furniture it housed were the bed, a chair, and the dresser. But it was decorated just to her liking, simple but elegant. The burgundy and white chiffon curtains accented the bluish-gray hue of the room. A couple of orchid plants, one pink and the other yellow, resided in opposite sides of the room. A few picture frames sat gracefully on the dresser, which at closer inspection were of Isabelle's family and friends. Seeing the warm, welcoming smiles of her parents reminded her how loving they were. Her sister's smirk reminded Isabelle the situations they had gotten themselves into as children. Being the older one, Isabelle had always possessed an overprotective stance for her sister. Isabelle's chest tightened at the view of the ones she loved, she missed them dearly.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

She lazily sat down on the edge of her bed, hunching as she held back the tears that threatened to escape. She inhaled deeply and exhaled. She was determined not to lose self-control or pity her situation. Letting her emotions settle, Isabelle stood up and made her way to the large windows. She parted the curtains to reveal the beautiful ocean view that was in front of her. A smile crept on her lips as she stared at the sunlight that glittered on the surface of the waves.

_It truly is beautiful here._

As she stood in her room appreciating the simple beauty life had to offer in the strangest of situations, her stomach growled. She hadn't eaten anything all morning and her stomach showed its displeasure. Isabelle washed her face, making sure not to get the bandages wet, to rejuvenate herself. The bandages on her abdomen were still present, much to her disapproval, but Jennifer assured her they would be removed soon enough. She stepped out of her room ready to go to the mess hall; if only she could recall which way that was.

ooOoo

"Hey," Jennifer walked down the corridor, towards Isabelle.

Isabelle sighed with relief, "Hi, could you tell me where the mess hall is located?"

Jennifer laughed, "I'm heading there myself. Come on."

They entered the mess hall together and Jennifer guided her towards the food table where she was allowed to select whatever items she pleased. Once they were finished, Jennifer led her towards the back of the sitting area. As the distance between them and the table decreased, Isabelle noticed that it was currently occupied with four other people, three of whom she recognized. The face that was unfamiliar to her belonged to a beautiful woman who looked confident yet understanding. From where Isabelle stood, she could see that the woman wore tribal clothes, similar in essence to those Ronon wore.

"Hi, Isabelle," Sheppard greeted her, "take a seat."

Isabelle sat in the seat closest to the window panes, next to the unknown woman and across from McKay. She greeted everyone but looked at the one who sat next to her expectantly.

She seemed to understand what Isabelle expected, "I'm Teyla."

"Nice to meet you," Isabelle stated, waiting for the stillness that followed to disperse.

"How are you feeling?" Teyla asked in a serene voice.

"I'm fine…better." Isabelle tried to be casual. The idea that others knew more about her than she did disturbed her. She didn't remember much about the past two years, she didn't know what had changed, and most unnerving of all she didn't know what they knew about her. But she did know that being out of control made her anxious.

Sheppard cleared his throat, "Rodney, Isabelle here was wondering how the Stargate worked."

"Oh," McKay's face lit up at the thought of providing his technical knowledge, "well, you see, two Stargates, when activated, form a singular gateway between the two locations providing a shorter way of travel."

"A singular gateway…a wormhole?" Isabelle asked incredulously.

"Exactly, a wormhole." McKay smiled widely.

Isabelle looked around and saw that the others held a sober expression. They were not joking. She shook her head in disbelief, "Wouldn't the excessive gravity inside the wormhole be too much a person? I mean…it would tear them apart."

McKay looked astounded by her speculation, "Yes well, you're right. But the person is sent through as an energy signature. They're reintegrated once they cross over to the other end."

Isabelle absorbed the information, still not believing him. Disintegrated and then reintegrated – it just didn't seem possible, "If you say so."

She stabbed the fruit in her plate with her fork before eating it. The rest of them continued to eat. Isabelle saw that this was one of the rare times when they were able to sit, relax and enjoy their moments together. They were like a family; they were all supportive, loving and protective. She had a hard time imagining herself as one of their own. Most of their conversations were filled with small talk that referenced to their prior missions, none of which she remembered.

They tried to include her in conversations but those usually died quickly. Eventually, Isabelle excused herself from the table and headed out. Walking around the base, with no idea where she was going, she attempted to form a mental map of the place. Isabelle tried to retrace her steps but at times found herself forlorn in unknown areas, surrounded by faces she didn't recognize. Fatigue took over her body so she walked out onto the balcony, her refuge.

The breeze blew her hair back; the setting sun's blaze glistened on the ocean surface, giving it a reddish-orange hue. It had been awhile since she had seen a sunset; she fully took advantage of this moment and let her thoughts wander. She didn't even worry that anyone else might be looking for her; she felt so isolated among them. They all had a history together, which at one point did include her but not anymore. Isabelle didn't blame them, she couldn't…everyone was a victim of circumstances. She knew all too well the feeling of being placed in an alien environment.

ooOoo

In her room now, Isabelle stripped down her clothes and headed into the shower; she was sweaty and exhausted from her day of nothingness. Her wounds had healed well enough that the water didn't cause any pain. The warm water felt so good against her skin, so gentle and relaxing. Lost in the feeling of repose, she didn't worry about the events that had passed. She just let her thoughts roam while her body absorbed the heat. The sudden image of Sheppard touching her bare skin flashed through her mind causing Isabelle to stumble against the bathroom wall.  
_What the hell was that?_  
She looked around as if to make sure no one had seen her, knowing fully well that she was alone in the bathroom. Her hand reached over to shut off the water and she made her way out of the stall. The towel that once hung on the bar was now wrapped around her; it covered everything from her chest to her mid-thighs. Her hair was damp, so she clipped it back partially, not caring that it was disordered, letting a few tendrils fall on the sides of her face.  
Isabelle opened the bathroom door and walked into her cold bedroom, but jumped when she saw Sheppard standing before her. Her feet stood prone because she was too busy trying to conclude whether it was a hallucination or he was actually there.  
"Wha-what are you doing here?" Her mouth had gone dry from seeing him.  
Isabelle saw his dark eyes raking her up and down her body. The cool air didn't give her shivers, because the look he had was lustful enough to make her quiver. Her arms were still lying across her chest, while her hands were trying to hold on to her towel.

She was no more than three feet in front of him with nothing but a towel on; and she realized that the only thing that separated him from her naked body was a piece of cloth. It seemed Sheppard decided that he should say something to break the awkward silence.  
"I-uh-came to give you, um…this," he had trouble forming words or thinking for that matter. Isabelle slowly, very slowly processed what he was saying and saw that he had an earpiece in his hand.

When she looked back up, she saw that he was still looking at her attentively and was moving a little closer towards her. Isabelle wanted to step back but didn't, instead she stood still while her eyes tried to say what she wasn't able to form with her voice. She wanted him to stop moving towards her, stop making her feel so vulnerable, just stop everything.

She realized the amount of fabric she had on, and looked around for clothes but didn't see any clean ones within reach. The grip she had on the towel got tighter, she felt so exposed standing, barely clothed, in a room with a man she had not even known a few days ago. Suddenly images flashed through her mind once more.

_Rough hands grazed her arms, as he leaned his face into hers. Isabelle's breaths became shallow when she felt his forehead leaning on hers. She saw the familiar green eyes. His left hand moved up from her arm to her shoulder, then neck and lingered there for a few caresses before moving up to grasp her cheek in the palm of his hand. _

_Swiftly, he pulled her face in and kissed her lips with his own. The kiss was gentle at first, as they were getting used to the sensation, but quickly it became rough. The emotions that had built up during the day's events poured into the kiss. Isabelle felt his tongue begging for entrance as it grazed her lips—_

Isabelle's felt disoriented from the images causing her to stumble. Sheppard rushed over and grabbed her before she fell.

"You alright?" He asked, concern clearly evident on his face.

Isabelle wondered whether whatever she had witnessed were true. He helped her stand up, while she kept staring at him. She pulled away from his grip and turned away, trying to avoid any eye contact. Her breathing got faster—she wanted him to leave, to let her get dressed so that she could look more respectable.

Sheppard realized that he had over stayed his welcome, "We…uh need you in the lab…so meet us there as soon as possible."  
She looked up hesitantly to let him know that she acknowledged him, and saw that he had rushed out of her room.

Isabelle didn't know how to believe those images she just had in her mind. Could it be possible that she and Sheppard had a relationship? The longer her thoughts lingered on the subject, the more she realized that he was always slightly awkward with her when they were alone. Deciding that she needed to focus on the task at hand and not on potential scenarios, Isabelle quickly dressed herself and left without bothering to fix her hair.

ooOoo

The laboratory was currently occupied by McKay, Sheppard and Teyla. They were conversing amongst themselves; however this atmosphere was unlike the one Isabelle had witnessed during lunch time. She construed they were discussing work related issues, most likely something she had been or would be a part of. She wasn't certain whether this idea frightened or thrilled her.

"Hello, Isabelle," Teyla said as she turned to see her enter the lab.

Isabelle realized she had unconsciously paused just a few feet behind them.

McKay looked up from the desk, "Oh, hello."

"Hi," Isabelle began to move towards them, noticing that Sheppard had not acknowledged her presence. She studied his actions as she her took place between Teyla and McKay. He was clearly avoiding her.

"So," McKay turned to face her, "ready for a trip back to Mironel?"

Isabelle stared back, "Wh-excuse me?"

"Well, I…uh," McKay looked back and forth between her and Sheppard, "I thought—

Sheppard cleared his throat and shook his head.

"Oh…well," realization dawned on McKay, "apparently Kirk here forgot to do his job."

_Kirk?_

"Dr. Keller," Teyla spoke up, "deemed you fit for off-world travel, as long as you take it easy."

"Off-world?" Isabelle questioned, hating the feeling of ignorance.

"I'm sorry," Sheppard apologized, "we—I should've explained all of this to you before this meeting. By off-world, we mean traveling to other worlds through the gate. It's a quick way to get to know your neighbors, make a few friends and form trade relations."

"So what's the purpose of this off-world trip?" Isabelle asked, seeing McKay's attention return to the artifacts he had laid out on the table. Teyla did not respond either.

Sheppard finally answered, "It will simply be a reconnaissance mission...thought it might be good way to ease you back."

Isabelle nodded, still at unease by McKay's lack of input. Usually he was so eager to advertise his opinion and knowledge.

"I must leave now, Torren must be waiting for his nightly walk," Teyla's smile glistened in her eyes.

She must have noticed Isabelle's bewildered look, because she continued to explain that Torren was her infant son.

"See you tomorrow morning, 0800 sharp," Sheppard stated.

"Good night," McKay added.

The silence suddenly became awkward once Teyla had exited the lab. It seemed like McKay and Sheppard wanted to speak to each other but couldn't or didn't want to in Isabelle's presence.

"So," Isabelle finally broke the silence, "I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow morning?"

"Yea," Sheppard agreed, "see ya."

Isabelle saw McKay smiled awkwardly in acknowledgment as she left, following the steps Teyla had taken only moments earlier.

As she walked through the corridors, troubling thoughts boggled her mind and a feeling of discomfort washed over her. The entire situation she had just experienced disturbed her. It was as if they were trying to hide something from her, and she wasn't sure whether it was for her benefit or theirs.

ooOoo

Isabelle had been so apprehensive about the imminent mission that her sleep had mostly included her tossing and turning in bed. Having gotten about three hours of sleep, Isabelle had woken up in an irritable disposition. Even after her shower, she felt ill-tempered. The only thing Isabelle hoped for now was that her teammates knew she wasn't a morning person.

She attempted to find her way to gateroom, but came upon the infirmary on her way. Jennifer seemed to be the one person she had trusted implicitly in the past…so why not now. Isabelle wanted to share her concerns, relieve some tension and hopefully earn a pep talk. Upon entering the infirmary she saw the familiar Asian doctor working at a desk, but before she could ask Jennifer's whereabouts, she heard familiar voices.

"I simply wanted to voice my concerns, Colonel, but the final decision does lie in your hands."

Isabelle moved towards the doorway leading to a separate research area, and saw Jennifer talking to Sheppard.

"I understand, Doc, but we need this one," Sheppard stated, his back facing Isabelle. There was a pause before he continued, "You know I'm not going to let anything happen to her."

"That's not really any of my busi—

"I know she used to tell you everything, Doc; I just wanted to put your worries at ease."

Jennifer sighed and moved to grab a box of test tubes, "I just don't think she's ready to face her past just yet."

"She's gotta face it as some point, better now than later. And who knows, this might jog her memory," Sheppard tried to reason.

"Fine, just see to it that she's safe this time."

Sheppard stiffened at her comment, paused a bit before he turned to leave without saying another word.

Isabelle quickly stepped away from his path and turned away from him. The words he stated ran through her mind. She wondered whether he cared about her as a member of his team or if there truly was something more to it. Her instincts agreed with the latter, but who knew. She heard his footsteps pass by behind her, but waited a few moments before going in to talk to Jennifer.

"Hey," Isabelle slowly entered.

Jennifer turned to face her, slightly bewildered by her presence, "Oh, hey…I thought you were going off-world with—

"I am. I just wanted to come and talk to you for a bit beforehand."

"Oh, what's up?"

"Nothing, really…just wondering if there's anything I should be worried about, you know regarding this mission."

"Like what?" Jennifer eyed her suspiciously.

"I don't know," Isabelle shrugged, "I've never been off-world before, well you know what I mean, and I'm not sure what to expect. Is there anything I should prepare myself for?"

"I don't think so…I mean, Sheppard's team is highly capable of keeping you safe."

Isabelle didn't believe these words, considering what she just heard before, "Are you sure? Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"Um...not that I'm aware of," Jennifer smiled, "don't worry. It'll be fine. You might even like it."

Isabelle reciprocated the false gesture, "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

"I'm not needed there, Isabelle."

"Well it's my first time off-world and I thought I could share the experience with a friend."

Jennifer's smile vanished and her eyes seemed to turn to stone.

Isabelle furrowed her brow, "What?"

Jennifer shook her head, "Nothing. I can't go, ok. Just take care of yourself."

ooOoo

They arrived in Mironel just as the sun moved to beam directly upon them. Isabelle's first walk through the stargate was a success—she had reintegrated safely in the designated location. The team walked through a wooded pathway, without the destination in view. Sheppard was leading alongside McKay, who was reading some sort of hand sized monitoring device. Isabelle and Teyla were right behind them, side by side, with Ronon walking steadfast behind all of them.

"We're almost there," McKay informed the others.

"We're aware, Rodney," Teyla assured him, "we've been here before."

"Oh, well," Rodney shut off his device, "I'm sorry not all of our internal compasses are up to par as yours is."

Teyla smiled, shaking her head at his immaturity.

"No need to get defensive, Rodney," Sheppard calmed him, "I'm sure you'll be of some use…at some point."

Rodney rolled his eyes, knowing Sheppard was teasing him.

Isabelle studied the interaction between all of them and once again concluded that they truly were a family. A slight sense of childlike jealousy shot through her for not being able to engage similarly.

After twenty minutes of walking through the woods and passing over a river, they finally reached the inhabited area. Even from the outskirts, people noticed them approaching. Isabelle smiled at the sight of children rushing over to greet them, but she could see McKay was visibly frightened.

Behind the herd of children, a couple of young men, wearing a welcoming smile, walked over towards them.

"Hey, Theos," Sheppard greeted one of them.

"Hello, Colonel," the shorter man replied, "it is good to see you, all of you."

The taller, raven haired and gray eyed man stood behind the shorter one, not saying anything. Isabelle noticed he greeted the others with a nod, but simply stared at her. It unnerved her. It didn't last long though, because the next second Sheppard's back blocked his view of her. She wondered whether it was a conscious move on Sheppard's part; but quickly erased the thought.

"Evran," Theos grabbed his attention, "lead them to Avrine's home."

The tall man waved his arm in the direction behind him, "This way."

Before Isabelle could follow, she felt something tug at her slacks. She looked down to see one of the children had grabbed her leg.

"Hi," Isabelle smiled at him, "what's your name?"

"Very funny, Issy," he pouted before releasing his grasp on her leg and in turn grabbed her hand, "come on."

She tried to keep up with the kid as he ran down the dirt pathway, quickly catching up with the rest of them. Ronon turned around and smirked when he saw Isabelle short of breath.

Once they reached the home, an elderly woman greeted them and led them into the sitting area.

Avrine served all of them tea and cookies, "How is everything?"

"Everything is well," Teyla responded, "we hope everything is just as well here at Mironel."

"Everything has been great since the doctor informed us of the shield to protect us from the wraith," Theos stated.

"Mmm," McKay approved of the cookies he was grabbing, "yea glad I could help. These cookies are delicious by the way."

"Have more Doctor," Avrine smirked, "we are very happy about having you all back, more so because we dearly miss having Isabelle around here."

Isabelle shifted uncomfortably, complete ignorant of the context. She had no idea who these people were, but they clearly had a connection with her. Everyone from the little boy, to the mysterious gray eyed man to the caring woman in front of her.

"Actually," Sheppard interjected, "there's something we need to tell you."

The next few moments were reminiscent of the meeting in Woolsey's office. The second time around wasn't as difficult for Isabelle to withstand; but seeing the look of pity in their eyes for her situation bothered her. Luckily they were quite understanding of the matter and decided not the press the issue. The awkwardness subsided allowing the comfortable atmosphere to return.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks for your reviews once again! You guys are great : )

This chapter was a little anti-climatic, but it sort is a set up for the next chapter. However, I do need to know whether this was an interesting chapter for you guys to read – like did it keep you engaged?

Provide your inputs in the reviews!


	4. Chapter 4: Onslaught

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Stargate franchise or any of its characters from the movie/show you may recognize. I only own my character Isabelle and other minor characters you don't recognize, along with the storyline.

_**Read & Review! **_

**Greatly appreciated all of your reviews!**

**

* * *

Chapter 4**

**Onslaught**

The next morning, Isabelle woke up earlier than the others. Everyone was still asleep from the celebration of the night before; the people of Mironel had planned a feast for their return.

She walked out of Avrine's home to find that the townspeople had returned to their routines. Their constant greetings made her feel a sense of déjà vu – she thought back to the subtle comments from others indicating that she had not only been here before, but must have spent considerable amount of time here.

The thought of traveling to another world had made her anxious, but now being in Mironel, it gave her a sense of comfort. The past few days, Isabelle had been so overwhelmed from finding herself in an extraordinary situation that she hadn't given much thought to the cause of her amnesia. Sheppard had mentioned that this mission might jog her memory; Isabelle wondered if this was the last place she had been before her trauma.

"Isabelle!"

Isabelle turned to see a blonde woman walking towards her. The woman's large blue eyes reminded her of dolls she used to play with as a child. Although her features were the epitome of innocence, the lack of happiness in her eyes and the darkness that surrounded them contradicted it.

Isabelle stood motionless as the woman came to a stop a few inches in front of her.

"I heard you all came back yesterday, but I wasn't feeling well—," she paused, "Avrine told me what happened with you…I'm sorry to hear that. How have you been coping?"

"Alright, I suppose," Isabelle replied, feeling a little uncomfortable conversing with someone she didn't know, "I'm sorry – I don't remember what your—

"Leira, I apologize," she smiled, her dimples showed, "I'm not being completely considerate here, am I?"

"Oh, no, you're fine. I promise..." Isabelle tried to be assuring. She saw Leira smile, but that smile didn't reflect in her eyes. It seemed as though she was bothered by something, but didn't know how to voice it.

"Do you maybe, um, have some time?" Leira asked with some effort.

"Yea, sure."

Leira led them down the center street passing through a marketplace, where grocers were currently setting up their booths. The walk there was accompanied by small-talk mostly initiated by Leira. Isabelle could tell she was trying not to delve right into the discussion; but either ease her way in or avoid it all together.

Finally Leira began, "I'm not sure you remember, but when you came here, you told us you worked as doctor – one who helped people with emotional problems."

"That's right."

"Well," Leira's fingers pulled on the bottom of her dress, "at one point during your stay, I asked you for help—"

They were on the edge of the marketplace now, heading towards the woods. Isabelle wanted to turn back, but didn't want to interrupt Leira's thoughts.

"—I had watched my mother and younger brother get attacked by the wraith."

_Wraith?_

"My mother died protecting him, but my brother survived…somehow. Only now he dies slowly every day. It's as if the whole thing has traumatized him to the point where he thinks that if he makes any sudden movements the wraith will return and kill him," Leira paused to breathe in and shut her eyes for a moment, "you had helped him realize that he was safe. He started talking to me, playing with other kids but when the wraith attacked again and you left—

Isabelle watched Leira's anguish for her brother. She felt guilty, how could she have left a patient without completing the therapy. Unless she was forced to leave….

"I need you to help me again, Isabelle," Leira begged, her eyes filled with emotion that was absent when they had first met, "I can't watch him deteriorate like this – what will he do when I'm not here for him. He doesn't have anyone else – he needs to realize that he can live, that he's allowed to live."

Isabelle took Leira's hands in hers, "I'll help him…I promise."

Leira smiled, tears overflowing from her eyes and rushing down her pale cheeks, "Thank you, Isabelle. Thank you so much."

Isabelle was then pulled into a swift embrace – she had forgotten what it felt like to help people. But she needed more information if she wanted to help her brother, she pulled away from the hug, "Leira, there are some things I will need you to tell me—

"Isabelle!"

Both women turned to the source of the voice to find Sheppard standing at the edge of the wood. They both headed towards him.

"Isabelle," Sheppard spoke firmly, "you can't go wandering off like that, especially without your earpiece. You should've told—

"I apologize, Colonel," Leira interjected, "I am at fault for leading her all the way out here. I lost track of where we were."

Sheppard sighed, "That's alright, Leira…just tell us next time."

Leira nodded, smiled at both of them and walked off towards the town.

Isabelle mimicked her actions as Sheppard followed, "What were you two talking about?"

Isabelle looked at his furrowed brow and noticed that he wasn't angry, instead he was worried, "She just wanted to talk about her brother. Did you know him?"

"Yea…cute little guy. Demeyr, he got quite attached you here."

Her eyes dithered before meeting his gaze, "So why did I leave?"

Sheppard walked unwavering, staring ahead, unresponsive to her question.

Isabelle felt her insides twist at his lack of reaction, "What happened? Was it something bad?"

Silence.

"It wasn't by choice, was it?" She continued her interrogation.

At this, Sheppard halted and turned to face her, "Something happened alright…we needed to get out of here, but it wasn't like we were going to forget them. McKay came back to help setup the wraith shield and Keller helped with the wounded, even transporting some to Atlantis."

"Was it a wraith attack?"

Sheppard looked shocked but quickly gathered his composure, "Leira told you."

"Colonel, what is a wraith?"

**ooOoo**

Isabelle wasn't sure she believed Sheppard's explanation, but then again she was in another galaxy traveling through wormholes to visit other worlds, so who was she to doubt the veracity of his words. Maybe there really were monstrous, ghost-like creatures that fed on human beings' lives, while flying around in "wraith darts"

The walk back Avrine's home was a short one; there was no awkwardness that usually existed when Sheppard and Isabelle were alone. As they walked along, Isabelle saw McKay heading out into the forest with some men. She wondered if it had anything to do with the shield Theos had mentioned. Since Sheppard made no mention of it, she assumed all was well.

As the distance between them and Avrine's home decreased, Isabelle began to notice a figure standing a few feet away from the doorstep. She squinted and focused her eyes to find that the figure was Evran.

"Hello, Isabelle," he greeted once she reached close enough to hear, "Colonel."

"Hi," Isabelle said warily, wondering what he wanted with her.

Once they had paused in front of him, Evran began hesitantly, "I've been meaning to talk to you for a while, but didn't know how."

She furrowed her brow, "Talk about what?"

Evran's eyes avoided their gaze, as if embarrassed.

An uncomfortable silence ensued, Isabelle looked over at Sheppard for help but encountered his unreceptive countenance and hostile stance directed towards Evran.

"Could we have a moment alone?" Evran stated, more than asked.

Sheppard reluctantly but surely walked away, but not before whispering, "I'll be nearby…."

Sheppard's antagonism made Isabelle cautious, wondering whether she should follow him. She watched as he slowly made his way up the doorstep and opened to door but paused.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about what happened between us," Evran grasped her attention.

Isabelle couldn't find her voice, "Wh—between us?

"I know you don't remember anything from your time here, but I still…I need to tell you that whatever happened – whatever I had said to you was premature."

"You don't need to do—

"No, let me finish," Evran continued, "when I told you that I was falling i-in love with you—it was just an infatuation."

"Ok," Isabelle found it more and more difficult to look him in the eyes.

"But," he found a cheerier tone, "now I'm sort of glad you rejected me when you did because I wouldn't have found out whom I was really meant for."

"Is that right?"

"Yes," Evran smiled, his sharp gray eyes twinkling, "Leira."

At this Isabelle finally looked up, "Leira?"

"Yes…I didn't believe it either, but her innocence, her maturity, her ability to find hope in even the most despondent situation made me realize how much I truly love her."

Hearing him speak about Leira in such a way, made Isabelle unconsciously look up towards Sheppard.

"That's why I have something to ask of you."

Isabelle brought her attention back to Evran, "What is it?"

"Demeyr, he is Leira's younger brother, we greatly appreciate everything you had done for him but he's—

"Leira spoke to me," Isabelle assured him, "I'll do what I can."

"Thank you very much, Isabelle, if you have time would you able to come with me now? He is currently at home."

Isabelle hesitated, once again looking in Sheppard's direction, hoping he'd reciprocate.

Evran seemed to understand, "We're very close from here…but if it's a bad time—

"No," Isabelled interjected, her professional persona getting the best of her, "now is fine."

"Alright, this way," Evran led her back in the direction from which she had come.

Isabelle wasn't even sure if Sheppard had noticed her leave, not that she was wary of Evran's intentions any longer, but something irked inside her, something felt out of place.

Moments later, from the corner of her eyes she saw Evran wave and looked ahead to see Leira step out of a beautiful, quaint home. A little boy with sandy brown hair and sun kissed skin followed. Isabelle guessed him to be Demeyr.

But before they could even get within hearing range, a loud hum sounded and suddenly a glow of white light beamed down from the sky encompassing Leira and Demery.

"NO!" Evran screamed.

Isabelle watched as the area which Leira and Demery previously occupied became empty as the beam traveled towards them. She suddenly felt herself being pushed as she roughly hit the ground. She looked up to see a vacant spot where Evran formerly stood. He was gone too. And so was white beam.

She heard screams throughout the village as white beams appeared and disappeared rapidly from objects flying through the sky.

_Wraith darts? _

The earth shook, sounds of explosions resounded, silencing the screams.

Isabelle lay there for what seemed like hours, trying to gather her senses. She realized she needed to get back with the team. She stood up and looked around, making sure the objects weren't above her. She had to go back to Avrine's home, that's where they would be. She would have to run all the way down the street. Isabelle gathered as much courage as her body would allow and ran.

As she ran for the other end of the street, she noticed something heading towards her. Something large, pale and grotesque…it was armed!

_Oh shit! Could it be the wraith?_

It started shooting at her with some kind of laser weapon. In panic, Isabelle ran off course and into abandoned shacks. Not looking to see what was behind her out of fear, Isabelle continued to run as fast as she could. She looked around and saw a few other creatures running out of the forest in her direction.

She felt someone grab her arm and pull her forcibly into one of the shacks. She landed with a thud onto the ground and felt something heavy on top of her. It was mostly dark inside the room, but slight cracks in the wall allowed in rays of light. The radiance highlighted half of their faces. Isabelle looked into his green eyes with curiosity and fright.

It took a moment to realize that it was Sheppard and he had saved her. Isabelle began to talk, but he covered her mouth with his hand to muffle the sound. A few seconds of confusion and then realization, Isabelle took his hand off of her mouth.

He was lying closer to her than she realized. Her chest was pushed against his; they were breathing in sync. Their legs were entwined; one of his between hers. He eventually lowered his head, as if exhausted. Nervous but afraid to make noise, Isabelle stayed quiet.

He was breathing on her neck; she was so afraid of what could happen any second. Isabelle felt as if they were lying on the ground for the longest time before he started to move. She felt his hair brush against her cheek, sending a shock through her.

While he moved himself off of her body, she felt relief as she could breathe easier. When his leg brushed against hers, she quickly retracted her own. He was resting one of his hands on her side, looking at her as if trying to memorize her face. Isabelle was mystified by his actions. It was as if he hadn't seen her in years or as if he thought he wouldn't see her again.

She finally spoke with barely audible volume, "You think we can go?"

He didn't respond, instead he looked at her lips.

Isabelle was terribly anxious, "Colonel?"

This time he looked her straight in the eyes and creased his brow. The longer he took to respond, the tenser she was getting. Finally he lifted himself off the ground and pulled Isabelle up by her arm. He took a look outside before leaving and motioning her to follow.

**ooOoo**

Apparently, Sheppard and the rest of the team had gotten separated when he went out looking for her. Now the two of them were headed back to the gate. Isabelle told him everything she had witnessed, mainly the traumatizing experience of seeing Leira, Demery and Evran disappear. She erroneously expected him to be as shaken as she was but realized he might have become desensitized over the years.

"What happened to them?" Isabelle asked, worrying the answer would be painful.

"The wraith took them," Sheppard stated bluntly.

"Are they—dead?"

Sheppard paused, "Not yet. But we'll find them…we'll try."

Isabelle wondered whether they would still be alive by the time these two made it to the gate, let alone continue to survive until they were found.

"What did Evran want to talk about?" He finally spoke.

"What?" Isabelle was bewildered…that was not a question she anticipated.

He looked away, "Nevermind…."

"After everything that's happened, you're asking me what Evran wanted to talk about? That's all you're thinking of right now?"

"That's why I said to forget it." He moved to remove a bottle of water out of his supply bag.

"What do you have against him, anyway?"

"Nothing," he just shrugged in response, as he drank the water.

Isabelle didn't believe him…something had been bothering him ever since he set eyes on Evran. Before she could get any form of an explanation from him, they both heard something fly above them.

"A wraith dart…" He thought aloud as he dropped the bottle back into the bag and ran towards her again.

Isabelle's eyes followed the dart, it hadn't seen them…yet. He grabbed her arm and forced her to run as fast as he did through the woods. They trailed off their path and hid among the vibrantly green bushes.

"How did they know we were here?" Isabelle asked as she let out shallow breaths.

Sheppard readied his gun and peered through the bush, to see if any wraith were present.

"I don't know." He looked over at her, and made her lie low. He gave her his excess supplies and told her to keep a vigilant eye out for any wraith.

Isabelle was nervous as hell, this was the first time she would have to encounter the wraith…how would she react? How would she defend herself...? How could she help Sheppard…?

"McKay, Ronon and Teyla?" Isabelle whispered loudly to herself.

Sheppard didn't look over, making it apparent that he was thinking the same thing. Wondering what had happened to them…if they were able to fight or escape….

The dart flew by again above them, making Isabelle shiver. After a few minutes, they didn't see or hear anyone approaching them. Isabelle thought they could leave, but Sheppard stopped her from standing up.

"Hold on…"

"But there's no one here."

"Shh…"

Isabelle sat quiet for a moment, listening carefully…she heard footsteps. Her eyes grew wider by the second, becoming aware of the fact that not just a one, but multiple wraith were approaching them – getting closer by the second.

She saw them through the bush, they were far from them but in line with their eyesight, yet hadn't spotted them. As soon as one of them lifted his stunner, a hoard of bullets entered his body. The other wraiths became wary and knew the direction from which the shots were coming.

Sheppard quickly grabbed Isabelle's arm and crawled behind a tree and told her to hide behind another bush.

"Stay there…don't move." Sheppard advised her quietly.

He was getting ready to shoot again as the wraith approached their previous hiding spot.

One of wraiths picked up something from beneath the soil and began to analyze it; Isabelle couldn't see what it was, very clearly. She looked over at Sheppard and saw him cringe when they picked it up – it looked like a necklace, but it wasn't his dog tags.

He wasn't shooting at them, even thought they were so close; he was looking at the object in the wraith's hands. The sunlight reflected off of its pendant into Isabelle's eyes, she backed up farther behind the bush and turned away from them.

Finally she heard Sheppard shoot continuously at them for what seemed like hours but it was only for a few minutes. She covered her ears from the loud noise it created, but it immediately stopped. She turned to see him gone – he wasn't behind the tree anymore. The Wraith were gone too; Isabelle observed her surroundings very quickly but didn't see anyone. She did see the necklace now lying on the ground, partially covered by the soil.

Isabelle moved towards the necklace, looking intently at it. It was a gold chain with a gold pendant with intricate designs and a pink pearl hanging at the bottom of it. She felt as if she had seen it before, but didn't recall where. She slowly lifted it in her hands, but before she could clean off the dirt, she heard the footsteps running towards her. Isabelle panicked, she didn't have any guns or protection with her – she had given it to Sheppard when she felt sick and couldn't carry it.

Before she could hide behind the same bush again, she screamed when someone grabbed her from behind. Isabelle saw the arm that was lying across her chest, it was a Wraith. She was terrified of what he would do to her – would it feed on her…as the others had called it or just take her captive. Isabelle's eyes looked around for Sheppard…but her vision was limited since the Wraith held her still.

Her defensive instinct kicked in; she needed to get away – Isabelle kicked his feet as hard as she could, elbowed him in the stomach then the face a couple of times, and finally was able to turn and punch him in the face. But all of that didn't throw him off his balance, it only made him loosen his grip on her, after which she was able to run away. Unfortunately she didn't get far enough, because he took only a few large strides and caught her once again.

The Wraith roughly turned her to face him, "It was unfortunate I couldn't feed on you last time."

Isabelle didn't know what he was talking about…_Was he the one who was after me in the village?_

She wanted to ask but thought of it to be unwise…becoming sociable with a Wraith before it fed on you. He lifted up his hand and she saw his eyes stare at her in hunger.

Suddenly she was pushed to the ground by a heavy force, and the wraith was no longer touching her. Isabelle looked up to see Sheppard pointing his gun at the wraith, but before he could make a move, Sheppard shot him point blank. The blood, if it could be called that, was splattered all over the trees and a little on her legs.

Isabelle stared in disgust and little amazement, never having seen someone die, even if it was an alien. Before she could thank Sheppard for saving her life, he walked over to her and roughly grabbed her arms. He pulled her up to her feet and she saw anger in his eyes. It frightened her to the core, she had never seen him angry…ever.

"When I tell you to stay low and hidden, you do what I say—you don't come out and willingly put yourself in danger!" He yelled at her.

"I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely, "I didn't realize—

"Just like you don't walk off without telling anyone where you're going," he held her tightly with his grips on her upper arms, slightly making her numb.

"You're hurting me," she whispered firmly.

"It was because you left with Evran that the rest of us got separated…someone had to go looking for you—"

Isabelle felt her eyes sting, something that was uncommon for her. She never displayed her emotions in a professional environment. But...she felt like she had disappointed him. She hadn't even been able to stay in one place like he had told her. She tried to release herself from his grip, but he was holding so tightly.

"—Next time you want to kill yourself, you do it on your own time…not when we're on a mission!" He released her fiercely and practically pushed her away from him.

She felt he had every right to be angry with her for making a rash decision, but he had no right to treat her this way or make her feel worse– she felt guilty already and he had no right to act as though she had done it all on purpose. She knew deep down inside that this isn't what he was like, but it still enraged her.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" Isabelle couldn't hold in her resentment.

Sheppard looked at her in anger when he heard her comment, but kept quiet.

"Why do you feel like you have the responsibility of taking care of me? You didn't save me today because I asked you to – you helped me because you felt obligated."

"You're a member of my team—

"Next time you feel like you have to put your life in danger for me…don't bother." Isabelle picked up her supply bag that was lying on the ground along with the necklace and placed it in her bag – not thinking that it belonged to Sheppard and not her.

She walked away from him on their original path, not worried that there might be other Wraith present. She didn't care if she died at the moment – she felt horrible for her mess up but even worse when he yelled at her. It made her feel incompetent – her eyes stung. She continued, not caring whether Sheppard was following her or not.

Apparently he had successfully shot down the Wraith dart earlier, because it wasn't flying around anymore. Isabelle kept walking ahead of Sheppard, not really knowing if she was heading the right direction. She was half-expecting him to say something to her, but he never did. They walked silently for hours – apparently the surprise attack from the Wraith evaporated Isabelle's sickness. They stopped momentarily to rest and drink some water, which was slowly diminishing, but never spoke to each other.

Isabelle always knew that when she was upset with someone, and if it was justified then she never spoke first, but if she knew she was wrong then she apologized, which she had already done – and she wasn't going to do it again.

Sheppard didn't seem like the type of person who would be able to apologize very easily. He was willing to apologize, but it was very hard for him to voice it. Isabelle knew it but she didn't care – if he wasn't willing to talk then she wasn't going to either.

The sun began to set and the breeze became stronger and cooler. Isabelle's hair started blowing in her face, even though it was tied back. As the sky became dark, the wind became even colder and soon it began to thunder. The first one was unexpected and it made Isabelle jump, which made Sheppard laugh a little to himself; she heard him but she still didn't say anything.

As quick as it began to thunder, it also began to rain – it wasn't a soft drizzle which gradually became a downpour, but it poured right from the beginning. Isabelle instinctively ran underneath a large tree to protect herself from becoming drenched.

She looked down and saw that there were beads of water sliding down her neck, underneath her shirt and onto her chest. It actually felt good after the long walk in the sun but she preferred not to get pneumonia. She turned to see that Sheppard had also taken refuge underneath a tree next to hers. Isabelle wanted to ask him if they could rest for the night and continue their trek in the morning, but she was too stubborn to say anything. So without asking him, she sat down against the tree trunk, took her supply bag as a pillow and lied down.

He didn't say anything either, just watched her lie down and possibly go to sleep. He just quietly lied down as well underneath his tree…but he didn't have a pillow.

Isabelle couldn't sleep though, the constant worry of someone coming after them kept her awake. Sheppard looked up at the night sky, whatever he could see through the dense tree branches. The rain droplets fell all around them, creating a mystifying veil and putting them to rest.

Isabelle didn't know when sleep came to her, but it eventually had. She woke up disoriented, forgetting where she was. She lazily sat up to see the pathway still wet from the heavy rain; the clouds had not subsided. The sun couldn't be seen and the fog that filled the forest blocked their view farther than three feet. Isabelle looked next to her and saw Sheppard sleeping, which surprised her because she thought that maybe he'd stay awake for the night to make sure no one captured them or killed them. But she couldn't blame him; they were both exhausted and deserved a night's rest.

She stood up, fixed her hair a little, as it was now frizzy from the excess moisture in the air and reached into her bag for some water but soon enough saw that Sheppard had kept it out to fill up with the rain water. Isabelle smiled at his consideration and thought she should wake him up. It was seven in the morning according to her watch and they should be heading back now. She walked over slowly, taking his peaceful expression into observation and admired how different it was from the anger he had shown the previous day.

She bent down and shook him lightly by the arm, but he didn't wake up. She tried again and again, but he didn't wake up – she began to worry. Isabelle bent down to place her ear next to his nose, he was definitely breathing but was unconscious. Isabelle's heart rate began to rapidly increase – she brushed her hands over his upper body, trying to feel for any wound which wasn't visible. She couldn't see any blood anywhere, so what could have caused this? Isabelle sorely wished that Jennifer was with her; she would know what to do properly.

But something caught her eye, his left sleeve was damp and since it was a black shirt she hadn't noticed it before. Isabelle moved to feel his arm; her eyes widened to see her blood stained hand.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Tried to bring in some action with this chapter, along with Isabelle/John "relationship" development. (Definitely get a deeper understanding of that in the next chapter actually.)

But how was this chapter? I hope it wasn't hard to follow….


	5. Chapter 5: Illuminated

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Stargate franchise or any of its characters from the movie/show you may recognize. I only own my character Isabelle and other minor characters you don't recognize, along with the storyline.

_**Read & Review!**_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Illuminated**

How the last couple hours had passed, Isabelle wouldn't know. The sudden changes in events had put her in a state of shock; she wasn't even sure if this was reality anymore. Twenty-four hours ago she was well-rested; she thought she was well prepared for her day ahead. Nothing would have prepared her for the emotional stress she was enduring now.

_Isabelle rolled up his sleeve to see blood trailing a long way down his arm from a severe cut. She ran back to grab her supply bag and searched for a first aid kit. She found it to be a large box that couldn't be removed unless she emptied the bag completely, so she poured its contents onto the ground. _

_Rushing over to Sheppard, her first instinct was to clean the wound, so she rolled him onto his side. His head lay in her lap as she worked on his arm. Isabelle eventually had to tear his shirt sleeve in order to clean it properly with water and cloth, after which she wiped it with alcohol strips and placed layers of gauze on it. She wrapped it up and tightly knotted it so that it would stay in place. The bleeding quickly stopped, but he had already bled so much during the night. _

_What could she do now? How was she supposed to get back to the Stargate?_

_She couldn't carry him with her, and she couldn't – wouldn't leave him alone to come back for later. So she just leaned against the tree, with Sheppard on her lap, and listened to the breeze that blew. _

_Isabelle regretted being so upset with him, if she had even cared half of the amount he cared for her, maybe she would've noticed his wound earlier. Maybe then she would've been able to stop the bleeding before it had gotten so bad that he had no energy left. She prayed and hoped that someone would come back for them…to find them before anything worse happened. The silence made her tired and her eyelids heavy; she fell asleep once more. _

Isabelle…Isabelle….._someone tapped her shoulder….._

_She opened her eyes to see McKay standing above her, looking down at her. After establishing that it wasn't a dream, she was relieved and happy to finally she him, so she jumped up and brought him into a tight embrace. _

"_I'm so glad to see you," her face was buried in his shoulder, muffling her voice. _

_Isabelle felt McKay stiffen to her sudden show of affection for him; but felt him softly patting her back in comfort. She let go of him when she realized that she didn't know where Sheppard was. She looked around and saw Lorne and his team along with the puddle jumper in the middle of the forest. _

"_Where's Colonel Sheppard?" she asked McKay. _

"_He's inside," he pointed to the jumper, "We have to head back quickly…he's not doing very well." _

_Something inside Isabelle winced. Was it the fear of losing him?_

Jennifer swiftly had him on a stretcher before they left the Gateroom for the infirmary. Isabelle stood, staring after them.

"You should get some rest." McKay advised before following Keller.

But how could she when Sheppard was in so much trouble? She felt remorse for everything she had said to him, and how she had acted towards him, especially after he had saved her life. Isabelle slowly walked out of the gate room, through the corridors and into her room.

She sluggishly undressed and walked into the shower, and stood lifelessly, while the warm water hit her body. After an hour of analyzing everything she had done with 'ifs' and 'buts' she finally gave up and decided what was done, was done.

Seeing her fingertips wrinkle, she realized she had been in the shower for too long. Later, Isabelle lied down on her bed to sleep but couldn't, not when she thought of how Sheppard might be doing.

_How horribly hurt is he? _

_What kind of condition is he in right now? _

Questions that repeatedly emerged in her mind, made her go crazy. She decided she had to go find out.

**ooOoo**

"How is he?" Isabelle asked Jennifer, as she stared at him from the entrance to the surgery room. It hurt her to see him so feeble, and she couldn't do anything to help him.

"We've stitched him back up and we're giving him blood to make up for all the loss," she looked at Isabelle, who had glossy eyes, "It helped him a lot that you stopped his bleeding as soon as you did, otherwise I don't think he would've— The good thing is that he doesn't have any other major injuries so all we can do right now is hope that he'll wake up as soon as possible."

"Major injuries…meaning he has other injuries." Isabelle stated in a monotone.

Jennifer's eyes revealed her sympathy for Isabelle, "He has some small cuts and bruises but no broken bones or head injuries."

Isabelle inhaled deeply and wondered how much he had fought against the Wraith to protect both of them, "Thanks, Jennifer."

Jennifer was about to walk away, instead she put an arm on Isabelle's and stated, "You can sit inside if you'd like…you don't have to stand out here the whole time."

Isabelle nodded and graciously thanked her for the offer. She wanted to move inside but her feet stood prone; for some reason she couldn't walk towards him.

"I'm fine out here."

Jennifer looked down and nodded before getting back to work.

Seeing his immobile state, Isabelle felt her chest tighten, her stomach ache and her body quiver. The sensations overwhelmed her, she needed to sit down. Her eyes searched the infirmary, trying to find a calm, secluded place for escape. However, she couldn't find anything but a vacant bed. Feeling the need to sit down as soon as possible, Isabelle walked over to the colorless, empty white bed. Her fingers glided over the soft sheets, recollecting the days she had spent on one of these. She sat down and let her body relax; she made herself forget her worries; she made herself clear her senses and suddenly she was encompassed by complete tranquility…

"_You never answered my question." _

_Isabelle looked up to see Sheppard standing at her doorway. _

"_And what if I don't answer it?" She challenged. _

"_Look," his calm demeanor belied the emerging anger, "you can either tell me exactly what's going on or we can—_

"_Or I can keep doing my job," she quickly interrupted, "and I suggest you keep doing yours." _

_Isabelle watched as he took unyielding steps towards her as she sat on the edge of her bed, holding an open book in her hands. _

"_What? You're going to pretend like nothing happened?" He stopped a few inches in front of her._

_She could see the green of his eyes disappear under the darkness, revealing his irritation. _

_When she didn't reply, he continued, "All of those days, weeks and months we spent together just vanished? Are you really that pissed off?"_

_Isabelle's will to keep herself calm lessened with each word that came out of Sheppard's mouth. _

"_For god sake, what did I do wrong exactly?"He shouted firmly. _

_At this, Isabelle swiftly closed her book and stood up, coming barely face to face with him. She thought he jumped back a little, but she thought of it to be her imagination. Sheppard couldn't be afraid of her. _

"_You didn't do anything wrong, John," Isabelle tried to veil her resentment beneath her composed words, "this relationship is what's wrong." _

"_What?" He seemed taken aback._

"_This thing," she waved her hands trying to convey the vagueness, "we have going on is a complete mess…and there's nothing meaningful here." _

"_Is that so?"_

"_Yea, I'm sorry you haven't realized it yet or maybe you just don't want to – but I can't live like that." _

_He simply stared at her, his gaze burrowing into her, creating holes – making her weak. _

"_If you're trying to figure out whether I'm telling the truth, don't waste your energy." _

_Isabelle threw her book onto the bed, watching it bounce as she turned away from Sheppard. But she felt herself being pulled by the arm, bringing her face just an inch away from his livid countenance. _

"_Would you mind telling me exactly when you had this epiphany?"_

_Isabelle stared back him, equally furious; she just wanted him to leave, "When? You want to know when…okay. How about when you autonomously decided that I wouldn't be going off-world anymore. How about the times you're off-world and I'm here waiting to find out whether you're alive or not. How about whenever we're around other people…you don't even acknowledge me." _

_He was silent._

_She pulled away from him, "Is that enough? Or do you need more?"_

_Sheppard sighed, "The reason I don't want you going off-world—temporarily—is because you still haven't seemed to recover from what happened last time." _

"_Of course I haven't recovered, John, hundreds of people were murdered," she saw pity in his eyes._

"_Isabelle," he tried to take her into his arms. And for once in this argument, John's voice conveyed sympathy._

"_Don't," she pulled away once more, "don't act like you understand. You and McKay and Jennifer and hell even Chuck seems to make a dent in this galaxy. What am I here for, John? Those people on Foremyr—I tried to help them—I spent days talking to each person there and felt like for once on this god damn expedition I was making a use of myself, and—."_

"_It is hard the first time, Isabelle, and even though it may seem like there's no way of making a change, there is. We can't just throw up our hands and leave." _

_Isabelle felt nothing anymore. There was no hope – no light in this galaxy, not where beings like the wraith existed. _

"_You actually believe that? That we can make a change?" _

_The entire basis of her job was to make life better, give people the confidence to better themselves and in turn better society. _

"_I do—," Sheppard smiled. _

_But how could the people, like the ones on Foremyr, even think of achieving self-actualization when all they could think of was imminent danger? She simply didn't see a way of improving life for any of them without having some sort of negative reaction. _

"_Like you did with Michael?" _

"Hey."

Isabelle was jolted out of her thoughts and turned to see Jennifer, who came and sat next to her. She didn't reply, only stared while her mind attempted to grasp onto the memories she had just envisioned. Her efforts only allowed her to retain a rough silhouette of what she had experience only seconds ago.

"What's wrong?" Jennifer stiffened.

Isabelle shook her head lightly, "I think I just remembered something."

Jennifer's eyes widened as she promptly removed herself from a relaxed position, "What? That's great – what do you remember?"

Isabelle desperately wanted to convey her enlightenment, but she couldn't find the words.

"Come on," Jennifer besought, "tell me."

"I-I saw Sheppard…," Isabelle began slowly, fearing if she spoke too fast she might forget everything, "but I called him John."

Jennifer's gaze softened.

"I was mad at him…furious even," she continued to dissect, "he kept trying to console me but I was pissed. And I have no idea why."

Jennifer took her seat again, not interrupting the flow with her own words.

"I kept yelling at him – something about how he doesn't understand me…I don't know," Isabelle looked to her friend for help.

"Do remember anything specific?" Jennifer stepped carefully.

"Not really – just—

"What?"

"I think – this is ridiculous but I think…we might have been in a relationship…."

"Oh?"

"He just said something about how we had spent so much time together and I was completely disregarding it," Isabelle straightened her posture, "I mean it could've meant anything—right?"

Jennifer shrugged, "What else do you remember?"

"Nothing – just that I was upset—depressed about something and he wasn't giving me the reaction I wanted. I was angry that he was able to withstand the pain I felt—

Jennifer continued to observe Isabelle's depth of understanding evolve.

"—I was resentful that he could handle the stress and I couldn't, that he was making more of an impact on lives than I was."

"That wasn't all, was it?"

"No…I was pissed off about something else too," Isabelle's gaze bore into the wall in front of her, "I looked at him and wondered how he could be so lighthearted about everything – about us. I was afraid that I cared more for him than he did for me – I was afraid of losing that control over my feelings. And I resented him for that. Damn, I'm a terrible person aren't I?"

An understanding smile formed on Jennifer's face, "No, you're not."

"He tried to be really considerate, but instead of noticing that, I saw everything I envied."

"You cared about him, a lot," Jennifer interjected, "he knew that. He knew you were having trouble dealing with all of the death that surrounded us at the time."

Isabelle faced her, "I broke up with him, didn't I?"

Jennifer looked away, "It was the better thing to do."

"But it wasn't the best thing to do—I pushed him away."

**ooOoo**

The morning sunlight shone through the window panes and shined brightly on Isabelle, it stirred her out of slumber. She realized she hadn't even changed her clothes from the night before and had been asleep for a good eleven hours. It refreshed her, but the sudden thought of Sheppard came back to her.

Isabelle quickly brushed her teeth, showered and wore comfortable clothes. She ran out of her quarters and towards the infirmary…hoping for more improvement in his health.

As she entered the infirmary, she saw Jennifer working on another patient. Isabelle couldn't wait for her to finish, so she walked around and found her way to where Sheppard was.

Bringing up the strength to finally see him, Isabelle made her way in and stood next to Sheppard's frail body. The color in his face hadn't completely returned yet, she wondered how long it would take for him to get better. Her hand unconsciously reached up to stroke his hair, but she quickly retracted when a nurse entered to take his vitals. She took the liberty of informing Isabelle that he was getting better but slowly. She saw the stitches on his arm, and lightly felt it with the tip of her fingers.

Suddenly, Isabelle heard a cough and looked up to see McKay standing at the doorway with his hands behind his back.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Sorry," he looked around, "I thought Jennifer was in here."

"Nope…just me," she tried to be blithe but failed, "I think she's checking a patient outside."

"Mm, I see."

Isabelle watched as he continued to stand in his position, as if waiting for permission, "You can come in, you know."

"Oh, uh, yea," he made his way over to her, "I just wanted to see how he was holding up."

"Supposedly, he's getting better."

He simply nodded.

Isabelle thought she heard McKay begin to say something several times but never did he successfully voice anything.

She felt the same way.

It felt like they had been standing in silence for what seemed like hours before McKay finally spoke up.

"How long have you been here?"

"Not long…."

To break the silence, McKay stated he realized he hadn't told her why they hadn't been able to find them earlier or what happened with the Wraith, but she hadn't asked yet either.

"If you want to talk about what happened or tell me what happened with you two…just uh…let me know." He smiled the kindest smile she had seen from him.

Isabelle thought he was going to walk away, but she needed someone to talk to…to take her mind off of Sheppard, "Now would be fine…actually, if that's okay with you."

"Yeah…sure."

They stepped away from Sheppard's prone figure before conversing. McKay informed her that after the team and Sheppard were separated, they made their way back to the gate. When they decided to go back to Atlantis and get help, the puddle jumper decided to stop working. But before McKay could figure out what was wrong and fix it, the Wraith attacked them.

"How did they find out we were there?" Isabelle asked, "I thought Mironel had a shield."

"Yes, they did and of course it had decided to malfunction while we were there."

"That's where you were going that morning?"

"Mm-hmm," he continued, "I went to reconfigure it, when it sent some sort of beam that acted like a homing signal. It was initially programmed by the Ancients to inform other Ancients that their assistance was needed, but the Wraith altered the programming so that it would inform them of any people who didn't belong there, such as Ancients or other tribes or us."

"Oh…what happened afterwards?"

McKay explained that he, Ronon and Teyla all fought rigorously against the Wraith, killing dozens and as well as the Wraith darts. It took hours but they finally defeated all of them – according to him, he killed just as many as Ronon had, but Isabelle knew he was probably exaggerating.

"How did you know where to find us?"

"When I saw a Wraith dart flying over a specific section of the forest and some of them heading in the same direction, I knew you two had to still be alive."

Apparently the reason it took all night for them to save her and Sheppard was because he had trouble finding the problem with the Jumper.

"I'm famished," he looked toward the exit, "want to grab something to eat?"

Isabelle's appetite was extinguished at the thought of Sheppard.

"No thanks, I think I'll stay here a little bit longer."

McKay nodded and gave her a forced smile before leaving her alone with Sheppard's unconscious being.

Isabelle looked at him realizing that not long ago she had been in a similar state.

**ooOoo**

"What happened to me, Jennifer?"

They sat in the mess hall as Isabelle watched Jennifer shift uncomfortably in her chair.

She sighed before beginning, "After Sheppard had finally decided, or rather you had convinced him to let you go off-world again, you went to the new world. I guessed it was your determination to get over your first mission that forced you to go there. From what I understand, after spending a few hours there, the wraith attacked when you were all by the gate. A blast caused the gate to malfunction and since you had went through first, you ended up in a place where we couldn't find you. We had no idea where you went."

"Mironel," Isabelle guessed.

Jennifer nodded, "Over five months later, Sheppard and his team landed in Mironel attempting to escape the wraith. They found you…but the wraith followed. Somehow you were injured during that escape and ended up in a coma."

Isabelle tried to absorb the information.

"That's all I know." Suddenly Jennifer's attention shifted to her earpiece.

"What is it?"

"You should really start using your earpiece, Isabelle," Jennifer teased.

"Oh," Isabelle's hand unconsciously went to her empty ear, "I always forget."

"Woolsey wants to see you in his office."

**ooOoo**

"Come in, Dr. Pierce."

Isabelle cautiously stepped toward the chairs that sat across from Woolsey's desk, "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes," Woolsey stood up, "I have some information you might be interested in."

"Oh?"

"I spoke to SGC and the IOA regarding your situation," he paced behind his desk, "and they deem the best choice to be that should your memories not see any improvement in a certain amount of time, you can move back to Earth."

Isabelle stared at the balding man, wondering if she was hearing correctly, "Go back?"

"Yes," he paused, "I understand this seems rather abrupt considering it hasn't even been a significant amount of time."

"They haven't made this an official decision, have they?"

"They have not," he finally faced her, "like I said they would like to be updated on your improvement."

Isabelle wondered whether she should tell him about the memory she had yesterday—

"Dr. Pierce, I would like you to know that you were and are an integral part of this expedition and I would prefer that you stay here as long as possible. However, I can't supersede the decision made by SGC, therefore I will update them with the information I get from Dr. Keller."

Isabelle nodded in agreement

"The sole reason I am sharing this with you is because you voiced a desire to return to Earth. And although this may depend on various factors, I would like to be able to give you the power to decide whether you would like to return to Earth, when the time comes."

She wasn't sure if this was reality or a hallucination from the stressful events.

Would she actually be able to go home?

Would she be able to see her family again?

Would she finally be able to return to the life she had known?

"Isabelle?"

"Huh? Oh—I'm sorry Mr. Woolsey," Isabelle composed herself, "I was thinking of…home."

Woolsey smiled, "I know what you mean. Anyway, I just wanted to update you in person."

Isabelle stood up, "Thank you, Mr. Woolsey, I appreciate this."

"No problem."

She turned to leave.

"Oh," Woolsey stopped her, "I understand you had some trouble on your off-world trip. I'm sorry your first mission back was not ideal. Although I'm glad to see you didn't suffer any injuries, how is Colonel Sheppard doing?"

The sudden onslaught of the anxiety she had prior to this meeting overwhelmed her. The sorrow she had felt upon seeing Sheppard's fragile state emerged once more.

She wondered, if or when the time came, would she be able to leave him?

* * *

**Author's Note:** There you go—a better look into Isabelle & John's past. I'm interested knowing what you guys thought about their turbulent relationship and Isabelle's reaction to it…**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6: Rival

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Stargate franchise or any of its characters from the movie/show you may recognize. I only own my character Isabelle and other minor characters you don't recognize, along with the storyline.

_**Read & Review! Sorry it's been so long! I think this has to be my longest chapter yet. **_

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Rival**

Over the course of a week and couple days, John had recovered enough to be able to pass off Jennifer's concerns as a doctor's usual over-protectiveness.

"He left?" Isabelle asked.

"Yea," Jennifer stated, a little displeased, "he left as soon as the nurse gave him a set of clothes."

"But, I thought you said he would still be here for a couple days to get his rest," Isabelle reminded as she followed Jennifer's preoccupied figure around the infirmary.

"I know – that's what I told him but when does he listen to anything that's good for him."

Isabelle sighed, "So he's up and running to go off world again?"

"I don't know," Jennifer paused, "I hope not."

Isabelle worried over John's situation, wondering how he could be so careless about his health. However she knew he wasn't one to take his position and duties in Atlantis lightly. Being responsible for the security of everyone on the base had to be stressful enough for him to be incapable of lying in the infirmary simply for getting some rest.

"Hey Jennifer."

Both women turned to see McKay entering the room, twiddling his hands in front of him before quickly shifting them behind his back.

"Hi Rodney," Jennifer greeted, "what brings you here? Are you not feeling well?"

"I was actually wondering if you wanted to have lunch…together, but if you're preoccupied I can always—

"No-no I can go," Jennifer eagerly answered before turning to Isabelle, "you want to join us Isabelle?"

"I-uh," Isabelle hesitated, not wanting to be the third wheel. She had deduced fairly quickly that Jennifer and McKay were in a relationship. The way she spoke of him and how he always found a way to be around her made it obvious, "I'm not that hungry."

"You have to eat some point," Jennifer pushed Isabelle towards the doorway, "come on."

Heading into the mess hall, Isabelle quickly noted the presence of Ronon, Teyla and of course Sheppard. He was laughing, talking and eating as if he hadn't just spend majority of his time in the infirmary.

Lunch passed with as much simplicity as possible. Something Isabelle had taken for granted previously but longed for now. She wanted to talk to John, ask him how he was doing. Yell at him for leaving the infirmary hastily. Most of all she wanted to discuss the memories she had recalled. She wanted to know where they stood in each other's lives now. She wanted to know if she still meant anything to him.

But all of those thoughts remained mere thoughts. John was called to Woolsey's office before she could say anything to him.

"Oh Isabelle," McKay said in the middle of his third dessert, "Could I use your assistance on something after lunch?"

"Of course. What is it?"

**ooOoo**

McKay and Isabelle worked on a newly discovered ancient technology all day. It was something he had acquired it from the caves on Mironel last time when he tried to fix the shield. The device that held the key-pad like feature apparently fixed into a stone wall, which could be opened if one entered the correct code. McKay was adamant on determining the code so that they would be able to see what was in store for them. He had so many theories on what could be behind the door. "It could be housing some anti-Wraith device." "The pathway to an Ancient village where everyone was trying to ascend…." The best one he had imagined was "A portal to another dimension…."

The whole night was spent strictly discussing on ways to decode the device. It didn't take long for Isabelle to realize that McKay only needed her to be a sound board. He would intermittently voice his thoughts aloud and she would respond only encouragingly. As she had no basis for speaking otherwise. But during this relatively quiet time Isabelle noted that McKay was the only one who hadn't even attempted to relate to her on a personal level yet. She wondered if things were exactly how they had been before Isabelle had disappeared. Was he always so distant…maybe it was just her.

"You can go to sleep…I'll figure this out." McKay told her.

_Should I ask…? _

"Dr. McKay?" Isabelle spoke up as she stood up to leave.

"Hmm" He was preoccupied with something else.

"Um…" How was she supposed to ask?

When she didn't say anything further, he looked up from his work, "What is it?"

"I was wondering…you know before everything happened," she saw his blank look, "…I was here for two years, right?"

"Yes," he looked back down.

"Well..." she was at a loss for words again, "were we…did we ever talk to each other about anything besides work?"

This time she got his full attention, he had been concentrating a little too hard on his task to think about how Isabelle might be adjusting back into her old life. He didn't say anything…he didn't know what to say.

"You and I were co-workers, Isabelle," he explained, "we just worked together."

"Oh…" she was a little disappointed, "so we weren't friends?"

"Well…I suppose we talked about personal things sometimes, considering you're a shrink, but I wouldn't say we were best friends."

"What did we talk about?"

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"Well it matters to me."

"Why?"

"Because—

"Because why?"

"Because I feel like you're always awkward around me – like you're trying extra hard to be professional."

"I'm being professional because we need to spend all the time we have on de-coding this – this thing!" McKay stood up and began to pace as he yelled, "So that when I go down to the planet next time and step in front of the door and put in a code that doesn't work, Sheppard doesn't ask me why I couldn't get it to work. So that we don't keep wondering what was behind that door that was so important that the Ancients decided to keep it so securely locked."

Isabelle was surprised at his outburst, but was not afraid of him yelling at her. She felt like she knew he would calm down, and he was just venting all of the built-up frustration.

He stopped hyperventilating and sat down, his back faced to her, "I'm sorry…sorry for yelling. I'm just stressed out," he voice became quieter and quieter; "I haven't gotten much sleep in the past few days."

"I understand." Isabelle said calmly, "I'm sorry for bringing it up."

She began to leave, but he continued to sit and think.

"You were the last straw."

Isabelle turned to see he was still facing away from her, "What do you mean?"

He turned around but didn't look at her, "First it was Carson…then Elizabeth, we lost them both."

Isabelle didn't know who he was talking about but didn't ask because it didn't matter at the moment.

"I felt guilty both times; it was a horrible…Carson was my best friend and he died – if I had just went fishing with him that day, he would still be here."

Isabelle saw the pain in his eyes, and thought she saw them getting glossy…but he still continued. "Elizabeth – she…she would've been fine but I – it was because of me that she went back; and we lost her. It was hard to go back to things as if they didn't happen but I did it somehow," now he looked at her, "Then you disappeared."

Isabelle felt a twinge of pain; she couldn't believe she had meant so much to them…she could only imagine how much they had all meant to her. Hell, it had only been a few days but she was already beginning to feel like they were her family.

"I was the one dialing the gate to get everyone out, but—I can't forget what happened that day or what it brought on everyone…so if you don't mind, I'd like nothing better than to get back to work and not think about it anymore."

Isabelle just nodded and stepped back to leave but something in her made her stop. She headed back towards McKay and gave him a hug. She embraced him to diminish his feelings of abandonment…of guilt. Isabelle knew he wasn't one to talk much about his feelings, but she knew this embrace would tell him everything he needed to know. After a moment of comfort and silence, McKay spoke.

"I think this is a violation of the doctor patient relationship."

Although Isabelle wasn't sure if he was being serious or not, she pulled back and laughed. She had forgotten she was capable of feeling amused or even happy.

**ooOoo**

The next morning Isabelle woke up to a voice in her ear. She heard her name being called numerous times. It was a familiar deep voice telling her to wake up. Wake up and go somewhere.

A sharp noise woke her with a jolt.

She looked down to see her ear piece lying on the pillow. She pulled it up to her ear and recognized the familiar voice to belong to none other than John.

"Hello?"

"Isabelle?" He asked.

She heard his voice resound in her ear. Her heart jolted, "Yeah, I'm here."

"You alright? You sound groggy."

"I just woke up."

"Oh, guess that explains the unresponsiveness."

"Sorry." She looked down to see that she never changed into her pajamas. "I need to be somewhere?"

"We need you down here at the conference room."

"Alright. Is that—

"It's near Woolsey's office."

"Okay, be there in a few minutes."

"See ya."

Isabelle quickly got dressed and headed towards her destination.

"Isabelle."

She turned to see McKay behind her, "Hi, where are you headed?"

"Conference room."

"Oh, wonder what it's about. Sounded urgent."

"It better be if it takes me away from doing my research."

"No luck with the device?"

McKay didn't reply. His stern gaze ahead answered her question.

They headed to the conference room in silence the rest of the way. They walked up the stairs and the door panels were already open, allowing them to swiftly walk in and head to empty seats. But McKay halted abruptly causing Isabelle to walk into him.

"OH!," Isabelle walked back, "I'm sorry."

She tried to apologize but he wasn't listening; she followed his line of sight and saw that he was staring at a woman standing across the room, on the other side of the long conference table.

"Who is that?" He was amazed.

Isabelle saw a tall beautiful woman who had the figure of a goddess and wavy blond hair to go with it. She looked authoritative and wore a black uniform which tightly hugged her body.

"Larrin!" John called as he joined everyone in the room.

"Hello Sheppard," she said with a serene voice, "surprised to see me?"

She walked towards him tauntingly; Isabelle could tell they had a history. A pang of jealousy hit her, but she quickly dismissed it. Even with everything she had recalled, she didn't expect anything more than friendship for John. Right?

John could barely get a word out because he was so mesmerized by the sight of her, it made Isabelle uneasy.

He smiled, "What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you," Larrin said seductively.

His eyes widened, "Really?"

"Isn't that what you wanted to hear?"

John furrowed his brow but his tense muscles quickly relaxed when he seemed to realize she was teasing him.

She smirked, "It's about the wraith…" she gestured to her comrades, "we have some new information I thought you'd like to be aware of."

Isabelle looked around and saw that she wasn't the only one watching the both of them interact; McKay was blatantly staring at the woman with his mouth agape. Woolsey and Teyla were waiting for her to continue. As for Ronon, Isabelle turned to see him gazing at Larrin too, but it wasn't the look the other men had set on her. No…this was an intent gaze of deliberation – like he was distrustful of her presence. Isabelle wanted to ask him about her but Woolsey directed all of them to sit down.

"What is it you wanted us to know?" He asked Larrin.

"I believe you are searching for some people from a place called Mironel."

"Leira, Evran," John stated more to himself, "and others."

"Demeyr." Isabelle whispered.

"We may have some information on the hive ship that took them."

"You do?" Isabelle asked aloud.

Larrin looked at her in surprise, as if she hadn't noticed her presence earlier, "Some of our men were captured by the Wraith whom we've since rescued. They mentioned the Wraith feeding on a group of people who were from Mironel."

"How did you know we were looking for them?" Woolsey asked.

"One of them mentioned Atlantis. They were expecting to be saved…," Larrin looked at John, "by you."

John's gaze turned towards Isabelle as she imagined the possible horrors the people of Mironel were going through. A wave of guilt rushed over her. Leira and Demeyr were alive and what had she done so far. Nothing. But her level of fault slightly diminished when she realized what John must have been feeling. He was severely injured and bed ridden for most of the time, but she knew that he would feel worse than she did.

"I don't want to sound morbid," Woolsey began slowly, "but how do know we still have someone to rescue. How long has it been since your men spoke to them?"

Larrin paused, "A week."

A silence fell over the conference room as everyone came to the same conclusion. The people of Mironel were as good as dead. The stillness began to suffocate Isabelle. She wanted to speak up and scream out that they needed to try. They needed to know for sure before they gave up so prematurely. But she couldn't. Her throat had tightened. Between the discomfort of being in a room full of soldiers she didn't recognize and the images of gruesome deaths, Isabelle felt paralyzed.

"We're not going to give up on them," John finally spoke, "Not yet."

Isabelle's heart rate relaxed as she looked at John. She wasn't sure, but a she felt the soft tug of a smile on her face. A part of her knew John would not quit based on an assumption. How could she have thought otherwise?

"Alright, but I think we need to be on guard in case the Wraith decide to pay us a visit." Woolsey stated, "Along with Larrin's men, the Wraith may also know that we are in search of them."

"Wouldn't they have attacked us by now?" Ronon asked, as he leaned back in his chair.

"They're probably waiting for you to show up on their doorstep." Larrin answered.

"Well, thank you for the information, but this couldn't have been the only reason you visited us," Woolsey stated.

Larrin smiled, "No, it wasn't. We would like to offer our assistance in the rescue mission if you would like."

Her flirtatious gaze towards John traveled faster than speed of light.

"We would be glad to have your help," John answered smugly, "And I think we should heed her warning."

McKay then muttered within Isabelle's audible distance, "Yeah there's something else he'd like to heed."

Isabelle was surprised McKay had a sense of humor.

"What was that McKay?" John asked sternly.

"Hmm?" McKay looked around innocently, "Oh nothing, nothing."

"Alright," Woolsey disrupted, "We'll need to discuss this and come up with an according plan, but we do appreciate your assistance, Larrin, thank you. You and your crew can stay here for a few days if you'd like to take a little R & R."

Larrin seemed to think about the offer, then looked at John before smirking and stated, "That would be wonderful. Thank you."

At that point, everyone stood at their positions to leave the conference room. Isabelle saw that John was still looking at Larrin quite fixedly. She wondered what had exactly happened between them. Debating whether she should ask him regarding the matter or not, she didn't realize she was staring at him the whole time.

Teyla nudged her, "Something wrong?"

"Oh," Isabelle stood up to face Teyla, "No…nothing's wrong."

But she quickly turned to see John make his way to Larrin and they began to speak inaudibly. It caused her to flinch, so she quickly turned away, instead focusing her attention back on Teyla.

"How do they know each other?" Isabelle asked. So much for not caring.

"Well it's a long story, but Colonel Sheppard was taken prisoner aboard her ship, in order to help them operate a ship that had been dormant."

"For what?"

"In order to fight the Wraith."

"Oh…" Isabelle looked back at them, "They seem to have gotten quite friendly during his imprisoned days."

Teyla smirked at her comment but didn't say anything, even though Sheppard and Larrin's growing attraction towards each other was obvious to all in the room.

They saw McKay approach them, "Isabelle, do you have some time?"

"Yes, I'll see you later Teyla," Isabelle and McKay turned to leave.

**ooOoo**

Apparently the only reason McKay wanted Isabelle to work with him on the device was because Zelenka was occupied by another assignment again.

"You know, Rodney, I am a psychologist. Not an engineer."

"Well would you like to start from scratch with your patients? Or would you at least like to wait a few days and see if you get your memories back before you bombard them with embarrassing questions they've already painfully answered?"

Isabelle knew he was right, but it didn't mean she had to agree with him.

The whole time they were working on trying to decode the new technology, Isabelle kept wondering what was going on with John. She wondered if she should quench her curiosity, maybe she could uncover something regarding his true intentions with Larrin.

"And this is one of the many laboratories where we are able to do our research on Ancient technology."

Isabelle turned to see John walking around the lab with Larrin following him. He was giving her a tour.

"I think our scientists may be able to cooperate on some of the research," Larrin suggested as she looked around, "what do you think, Sheppard?"

"I think that would be a good idea," he said approvingly.

Isabelle saw McKay roll his eyes and mumble something about how John always got the girl. It humored her to think that McKay was jealous, up until now she thought of him as a strict, by the book scientist who didn't get distracted by lustful thoughts.

Isabelle heard Larrin and John exchanging light words but she could tell they were heavily flirting. It not only made Isabelle a little uncomfortable but she was unable to concentrate on her work. She couldn't explain the extreme jealousy of Larrin and anger at John, but she felt her heart tear when she saw him touch the small of her back.

Isabelle turned away and thought how wrong it was of her to be upset with him. She broke up with him. She left him when he clearly wasn't ready to give up.

So why would he care about how she felt right now? He must have moved on by now. How could he not when he had someone like Larrin waiting for him?

"Oh, guys," John called out before he left the lab, "We're heading out tomorrow morning for Mironel instead of the day after—be ready."

"Okay," Isabelle said mechanically, as she continued to watch their interaction.

McKay interrupted, "What? Already? We're not ready yet—

"Then I suggest you get it done." John said.

As John was about to leave, Isabelle realized what he had just said, "Wait. Why are we going back to Mironel? Shouldn't we be looking for Leira and Demeyr?"

Sheppard told Larrin to go ahead and that he would follow.

Isabelle saw his green eyes get sharper.

"We just need to check on Mironel and while we're there McKay gets a chance to test his device."

"If I decode it in time." McKay added.

John gaze did not move from Isabelle, "We'll search for them. I promise."

John waited for a response, but Isabelle didn't satisfy him with one. She looked at him expecting him to leave, but he stayed.

Isabelle didn't know why he lingered and continued to look her in the eyes, but she stared right back. She felt it now. The sensation that he was so much more than a fling. So much more than someone who just looked out for her well being. He had meant a lot to her at one point. Even if only for a moment. But she had gotten frightened by the overwhelming feelings it brought along. She was afraid that he meant more to her than she did to him. Seeing the way he was with Larrin only brought back those feelings of insecurity.

_Isabelle…Isabelle…._

"Isabelle." McKay said loudly, causing Isabelle to jump. She shook out of her stupor to see McKay standing at her side, looking back and forth from her to John.

"Could you come over here with me please?" He asked patronizingly, while heading in the direction of his computer.

Isabelle followed, not looking at John anymore, but she felt his gaze on her. She turned to see McKay looking at John with a bemused countenance.

John stayed in his place, and when Isabelle was away from him, McKay went back.

"What's going on?" He asked John.

"Nothing, McKay," John's gaze followed Isabelle's every move, "I'm gonna go catch up with Larrin."

Isabelle cringed at the mention of her name, he had said it quite loudly. She thought it was because he wanted her to hear it. She decided to put all of it out of her mind – she would drive herself crazy trying to analyze why she felt so insecure of her relationship John. Even though it was clearly over now.

"Come on Isabelle, back to the device." McKay gathered her attention.

**ooOoo**

Once again Isabelle stood in Mironel. Except this time they were greeted with emptiness instead of the jovial atmosphere she previously experienced. It was depressing.

"Where is everyone?" McKay asked.

"They are probably still in their homes." John answered.

Isabelle yawned for the billionth time. She and McKay spent longer than expected on decoding the device. By four in the morning, they had finally figured out the five symbols that caused the device to light up. But they were too exhausted to show their excitement on the success of their task.

"Teyla and Ronon, you guys head to town and ask for Avrine", John turned towards McKay and Isabelle, "you guys come with me."

They separated and headed towards the cave to test out the device. McKay eagerly entered the cave and began to remove the keypad from his bag.

John surveyed the area, "Looks the same. I guess the Wraith didn't make a pit stop here the last time they attacked."

"Maybe they don't know about this place." McKay stated.

Isabelle didn't think he believed his own words. This place was obviously created to conceal something and if the Wraith didn't come here, then they either knew what was behind the wall or they were the ones who had hidden it.

Either way, they were about to find out soon enough.

McKay placed the keypad in its housing in the wall and began to type in the code. Isabelle heard a small rumble above them.

"Did you guys hear that?" Isabelle asked apprehensively.

"Yeah," John looked at the ceiling of the cave and then at her.

McKay paused briefly but relaxed when the rumble stopped, "It's probably just the weather."

Before John could stop McKay from completing the code, the ceiling thundered and began to crack.

"McKay! Get away from there!" John yelled out.

"Wait! I just entered the code – the door's gonna open. We'll know—"

Before McKay could complete his sentence, the ceiling began to crumble around them.

"Oh crap!" McKay yelled as he tried to escape the debris.

John and Isabelle reached for him and pulled him towards the exit.

"Wait," McKay abruptly stopped, "the device – my bag!"

"Forget it!" John yelled, pulling him once more.

"No – do you have any idea how much time I've spent on that thing?"

As they argued, Isabelle looked at the bag. It was only a couple of feet away from them. She could grab it in a second.

"Time is not something you'll have to worry about once you're dead, McKay—

Isabelle let go of McKay and ran towards the bag.

"Isabelle!"

Isabelle wasn't sure who called her name, but she wasn't heeding either one, instead she grabbed the bag and looked momentarily at the keypad that sat on the wall. Within that one second, the ground below her cracked open. She lost her balance and stumbled towards the opening.

Before Isabelle could fall through, she felt a tug on her jacket and harsh jerk back to solid ground. Her back came to a sudden crash against another body.

She looked up behind her and saw John supporting her. Through the dust and debris, she saw the concern in his eyes. Her stomach fluttered.

"Come on!" McKay yelled

They ran out of the cave just in time to see it crumble into a pile of worthless rocks. All of the time and work they had spent on decoding the device, the anticipation of seeing what was behind that wall was met with ultimate destruction.

Hearing footsteps behind them, they turned to see Teyla, Ronon and a few villagers running towards them.

"What did you do, McKay?" Ronon asked, amazed by the sight in front of him.

"Oh calm down, Conan, I didn't do anything."

John and Isabelle looked at him.

McKay shifted, "I might have tried something…but I didn't do it on purpose."

Isabelle smirked as she tried to brush the dust and rubble from her hair.

"Turning out to be a great birthday for you isn't it?" Ronon said as he slapped John's back.

"Yeah, exactly what I was hoping for. Looming death."

"It's your birthday today?" Isabelle asked, feeling slightly guilty for not remembering.

John looked at her slightly surprised by her question. "Uh, yeah. It is."

"I think we should celebrate tonight." Ronon suggested.

"I don't think so, buddy—

"Why not? Is it not customary to celebrate another year of one's life?" Teyla said with a smirk.

John shook his head dreading what the night had to hold.

**ooOoo**

Isabelle sat in her room, wondering whether she should go to the party. They must have all gathered in the mess hall by now. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time with everyone who had become so close to her in just the past few days. She just didn't know what to say to John.

The moment he had touched her in the cave, she felt a familiar spark. The same spark that had probably initiated their whole relationship. The butterflies in her stomach that had fluttered this afternoon were flickering again. What was she so nervous about? It's not like she was going to profess her feelings to him.

It would be selfish. Isabelle hadn't forgotten that she was the one who had ended their relationship. And now when she felt remorse and guilt, she should just forget everything about John's feelings and jump on him? No. She couldn't do that.

Isabelle decided to be the good friend and go to his party. Wish him a happy birthday and leave. That's it.

**ooOoo**

By the time she got to the mess hall, the party was clearly in full force. She searched for John but didn't see him anywhere. Maybe if she hadn't taken so long to decide on her outfit, which ended up being a simple black spaghetti strap dress, she could've wished John and left. But now she'd have to stay and wait for him to reappear.

An hour of waiting passed, with no sight of John.

Not that it wasn't enjoyable. Isabelle didn't realize that seeing Ronon drunk would make her laugh so hard. This had to be by far the best time she had spent on Atlantis. Ronon, Rodney, Teyla and Jennifer seemed to have reverted back to the time before all of the horrible things had happened. Before all of the death and loss.

"Isabelle, are you not enjoying yourself?" Teyla appeared at her side.

"I am, honestly, for the first time." Isabelle replied as she silently searched for John.

"I'm glad." Teyla placed her glass of wine on the table next to them, "I heard Mr. Woolsey offered you the option to stay here or return to Earth."

Isabelle was surprised that the news had reached others, "Uh, yes he did."

"What have you been thinking?" Teyla proceeded cautiously, "Will you stay?"

Isabelle looked around her. No one seemed to have any inhibitions tonight. It was a different time – no worries of impending doom, no stress of work deadlines – everything seemed normal for once. And for once, Isabelle didn't feel out of place. Maybe she could consider calling this place home.

"I haven't decided," Isabelled answered with a smile, "but this place is starting to grow on me."

The only thing hindering total compliance was her relationship with John. Or lack thereof. She admitted she felt uncomfortable not knowing where she stood in his life. Was she a friend, an ex or just someone he worked with? And she still didn't know what he was to her.

All of the memories of her and John came rushing back to her. She knew deep down she was a fool to let him go. He had cared so much for her and she was so unappreciative of it. With everything that had happened in the forest and the cave – the way he had saved her and protected her. She knew he still cared for her very much. How could anyone not see that? How could she say to herself that she didn't care for him? That she didn't want him anymore?

Well she did and her apparent reaction at seeing Larrin flirt with John was evidence of this. But more than anything else she needed him with her if she was going to live on Atlantis. She wouldn't be able to live here day in and day out suppressing these feelings for him. Pretending like she didn't remember anything.

Teyla seemed to have understood Isabelle's search, "Have you wished John happy birthday yet?"

Isabelle quickly turned to face her, "No. I haven't been able to find him yet."

"Who?" McKay suddenly appeared in front of them, being carried partially by Ronon, "Who's missing?"

"Have you seen John?" Isabelle asked, her heart beating rapidly now. Why was she so nervous all of the sudden?

"You know Isabelle, you did a hell of a thing saving my bag today," McKay tipped forward and back, "It's like you saved my life."

Isabelled smirked at the honesty of his words, "McKay, have you seen John?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I think he uh-," McKay lazily looked around, "He, um…headed thataway."

Isabelle saw him point out the door of the mess hall, towards the balcony. "Thanks," she gathered up courage and headed towards John.

Everything else suddenly became insignificant. The music drowned out and so did the cheers and laughter of those surrounding her.

Her only focus remained on the man who had meant so much to her at one point. The man who risked his life for her multiple times. The man for whom she'd be willing to stay on Atlantis and forget the life she remembered on Earth.

As her distance to the balcony decreased, she could make out a silhouette on the balcony. McKay was right, he was here. Her stomach began to flutter. Her breaths staggered. Her feet felt so heavy but she continued her trek towards the door that separated her from him.

And with one hand on the cold handle, she swiftly pulled the door open to see him standing there with Larrin.

**ooOoo**

Isabelle stood immobile as she watched John flirt with Larrin. She watched as his hands gracefully stroked the Larrin's arm. She watched as he leaned in to whisper in her ear and then lightly grazed his lips against her blushed cheek. Isabelle watched as she smiled and reciprocated his affection by brushing her fingers through his hair. And she continued to watch as John turned his head slightly to kiss her hands, when something suddenly caught his sight. He looked up in Isabelle's direction.

Seeing John stare at her with a bemused expression, Isabelle shifted uncomfortably suddenly realizing where she was. Luckily, the balcony and corridor area was vacant. She saw John say something to his current infatuation before heading towards her.

"Hey," John began with a perplexed tone, "what are you doing here?"

Isabelle continued to look at Larrin, who only had eyes for John. Isabelle's hands involuntarily moved to brush tendrils away from her face as she attempted to distract herself of her current predicament.

John looked around becoming slightly unnerved by Isabelle's silence, "Is everything alright? You look—

"I just, um, I wanted to say," Isabelle finally looked at John and became completely voiceless.

John raised his brow, "What?"

She decided to forgo her earlier plan when she saw his genuine concern, "Happy birthday."

"Oh," John looked unconvinced.

"Yea, happy birthday, John," Isabelle forced a smile.

John reciprocated her gesture, "Thanks."

"Have a good night," she said as she turned to leave, her smile disintegrating.

John followed, "Are you sure that was it?"

"Yea," Isabelle replied, surprised that he continued to pursue her as she speedily walked down the corridor, "that was it."

"Isabelle," John called out trying to stop her escape.

"Go back, John," Isabelle retorted, "I'm fine."

"Hey," John reached out to grab her arm.

She gasped as she felt herself being pulled back to face John.

"What is going on with you?" He asked softly.

"Nothing," she was a bit stunned by his actions, never had he been this forceful without being angry.

"Don't lie to me, Isabelle, I know you too well. Tell me."

Isabelle felt his grasp loosen slightly until he completely released her. She stood, facing him, not attempting to run away this time.

John waited. She watched his gaze getting distracted by something behind her. She turned to see a group of people walking out of the mess hall. She saw Ronon and Teyla carrying McKay as Jennifer walked alongside. Isabelle turned back to face John, contemplating whether she should tell him the truth. Was there any reason to hide this anymore?

"I think I loved you."

John shook his head as if trying to clear his head of the alcohol, "What?"

"Yea," Isabelle's gaze averted to their surroundings, "and I—I thought that you still…."

John shook his head, "But I—

"I know," Isabelle concurred, "you never said anything but with what everyone else was telling me, I still thought…."

John stood silent.

"I'm sorry." Isabelle tried to rectify the situation, fearing his silence to be anger.

John shook his head, "You don't need to apologize."

Isabelle's breaths became shallow as a prickling sensation formed in her eyes and she shook her head in disagreement, "No…I do. I'm sorry for even bringing this up. I just thought since…I wasn't thinking at all actually. I'm really sorry."

Isabelle swiftly turned and left not even waiting for John to respond. She separated herself from the situation as swiftly as she could. Isabelle wouldn't lie to herself and say she wasn't hurt by what she had seen. She truly was. It hurt more than she imagined. But she was a little grateful. Woolsey's offer flashed through her mind. And even though she was indecisive a few hours ago, John had made her decision a lot easier.

Whatever her past was at Atlantis, she was going to build a new future back on Earth. She was going home.

**ooOoo**

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks for reading you guys! Sorry it took so long to update. I didn't realize it had been a year. I wanted to further Isabelle and John's relationship, but it would be too quick right now. And I absolutely love McKay's social interactions, so I really wanted to build a genuine/respectable friendship between him and Isabelle.

Anyway, let me know what you guys think. If I get enough reviews, I may include A LOT more flashbacks of Isabelle and John in the next chapter


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